- The sight of someone covering their cough causes you to do a double-take – just as you’re sprinting to answer the call light, of course. The resulting fall is so spectacular you’re advise to try out for “America’s Got Talent”!
- You fill out ‘frequent flier’ medical histories from memory – and your more forgetful regular patients have been known to ask you little details like their home address!
- You no longer blanch when a patient with multiple piercings and full-sleeve tattoos tells you they’re afraid of needles.
- When a patient tells you how many drinks they’ve had, you automatically multiply the total by four.
- You make a point of making sure to use the bathroom every single day – whether you (with your Winnebago holding tank size bladder!) need to or not!
Posts Tagged 'You know you’re a nurse when'
A Student Nurse will spend an entire shift trying to re-orient the patient.
An Experienced Nurse will chart that the patient is disoriented and restrain them.
A Student Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
An Experienced Nurse lets the CNA give the patient the bath.
A Student Nurse values the chance to ‘work with the whole family.”
An Experienced Nurse avoids the entire family.
A Student Nurse always answers their phone.
An Experienced Nurse can’t find their phone on their days off.
A Student Nurse wants everyone to know they’re going to be a nurse.
An Experienced Nurse doesn’t let anyone know they’re a nurse.
This week’s Top Ten You Know You’re A Nurse Submissions:
- You jingle when you walk…from all the scissors, keys, and clamps in your pockets!
- You know not all patients are annoying. Some are unconscious!
- You have the phone numbers of every late-night food delivery place in town memorized…but can’t remember where you left your car keys!
- You can diagnosis illnesses solely by the smell of the diarrhea.
- You NEVER, EVER, EVER answer your phone on your day off.
- It’s been 7 months since you’ve seen a pen NOT imprinted with the name of a laxative or anti-depressant.
- When checking a patient’s orientation, you discover it’s actually *NOT* Wednseday…or July!
- Your finger has gone into places you never thought possible.
- You’ve ever wrapped a gift in a hospital pillowcase, secured with Micropore tape.
- Your sense of humor gets more warped every year!
Do you have a better “You Know You’re A Nurse When…?” Send it in! Submit your “You Know You’re A Nurse When…” to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com