Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'You know you’re a nurse when'

You Know You’re A Nurse When…

  • The sight of someone covering their cough causes you to do a double-take – just as you’re sprinting to answer the call light, of course.  The resulting fall is so spectacular you’re advise to try out for “America’s Got Talent”!
  • You fill out ‘frequent flier’ medical histories from memory – and your more forgetful regular patients have been known to ask you little details like their home address!
  • You no longer blanch when a patient with multiple piercings and full-sleeve tattoos tells you they’re afraid of needles.
  • When a patient tells you how many drinks they’ve had, you automatically multiply the total by four.
  • You make a point of making sure to use the bathroom every single day – whether you (with your Winnebago holding tank size bladder!) need to or not!

Funny Nurse

Posted in: Jokes

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The Student Nurse, The Experienced Nurse

A Student Nurse will spend an entire shift trying to re-orient the patient.

An Experienced Nurse will chart that the patient is disoriented and restrain them.

A Student Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.

An Experienced Nurse lets the CNA give the patient the bath.

A Student Nurse values the chance to ‘work with the whole family.”

An Experienced Nurse avoids the entire family.

A Student Nurse always answers their phone.

An Experienced Nurse can’t find their phone on their days off.

A Student Nurse wants everyone to know they’re going to be a nurse.

An Experienced Nurse doesn’t let anyone know they’re a nurse.

Posted in: School Days

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You Know You’re A Nurse When…

This week’s Top Ten You Know You’re A Nurse Submissions:

  1. You jingle when you walk…from all the scissors, keys, and clamps in your pockets!
  2. You know not all  patients are annoying.  Some are unconscious!
  3. You have the phone numbers of every late-night food delivery place in town memorized…but can’t remember where you left your car keys!
  4. You can diagnosis illnesses solely by the smell of the diarrhea.
  5. You NEVER, EVER, EVER answer your phone on your day off.
  6. It’s been 7 months since you’ve seen a pen NOT imprinted with the name of a laxative or anti-depressant.
  7. When checking a patient’s orientation, you discover it’s actually *NOT* Wednseday…or July!
  8. Your finger has gone into places you never thought possible.
  9. You’ve ever wrapped a gift in a hospital pillowcase, secured with Micropore tape.
  10. Your sense of humor gets more warped every year!

Do you have a better “You Know You’re A Nurse When…?”  Send it in! Submit your “You Know You’re A Nurse When…” to  Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com

Posted in: Enjoying Humor, Jokes

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