Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Scorpio

You’ve heard of vicarious trauma? Now’s the time to explore vicarious joy, Scorpio. Turn those keen eavesdropping skills on in search of the joy — and give yourself permission to laugh at other people’s jokes, smile at their stories, and so on. (Okay, you can be subtle about it…this time.)

Sagittarius

Communication troubles occupy Sagittarius this week. Some hospitals are moving toward distributing iPhones to make in facility communication easier, but not yours. Nope, you lucky thing! Your administrator saw the promo for “The Men Who Stare At Goats”, thought it was a documentary, and ordered you all to begin developing your psychic communication skills! Good luck!

Capricorn

It’s hard to tell who’s feeling worse this week, your colleagues or your patients! We understand you’re trying to stay healthy, Capricorn, but setting up isolation protocols at the nursing station is sure to ruffle some feathers.

Aquarius

Document, document, document. If it all turns out to be unnecessary, you’ll have improved your typing skills. And if it is necessary, well, you’ll be glad you had it written down.

Pisces

Joy is to be found in the small moments this week, Pisces. The way a patient squinches up their face when you stick them…it’s exactly how they’ll look when they’re 110! Stuff like that. Enjoy them.

Aries

This week, you will once again refrain from strangling the co-worker who remarks it would be nice if someone did something about keeping the unit tidy for a change. And this is good karma, which is all that will save you from tripping face first over someone’s trash and breaking your nose. Congratulations!

Taurus

Your stars show that you’ll leave one little scrap of paper maybe on the floor and someone who can’t be bothered to watch where they’re going will trip on it and all kinds of drama will result. Unless, of course, you could distract them BEFORE they trip and avoid the entire accident. Maybe it would be wise to engage them in some sort of activity — maybe straightening up the unit?

Gemini

A clean desk is a sign of an untidy mind. Gemini revels in the creative clutter of the workplace this week, a veritable productive flutter of charts and orders and restocked supply cabinets. That is, of course, until the second hour of the workweek. It’s all down hill from there, we’re afraid.

Cancer

Supportive family members are great. That way, when Granny decides to take a leap up out of bed, do an Olympic-worthy dive, and start heading for the floor, they can catch her! This week will be an exercise in seeing the positive.

Leo

Attention loving Leo will enjoy this week, where every patient has their finger permanently pressing on the call button, every caller wants to know how “Mom” is doing, every order needs clarification and there’s a doctor with lots of Very Important Questions that have to be answered STAT!

Virgo

You will encounter unexpected hostility today, Virgo; remain calm and stick to your guns. It might take some doing to convince your drug seeking patient that you gave them their meds or your insistent visiting family that Grandma really *doesn’t* need to get up and stretch her legs — but you can do it, and you’ll carry the day!

Libra

Never underestimate the power of one well-placed whoopie cushion to improve a unit meeting.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!