10. Records her own I&O (and her roommate’s!)
9. Makes her own bed, complete with hospital corners.
8. Reads her own chart to make sure no one wrote ‘obese’ in it.
7. Takes her own pulse while you take her temperature.
6. Asks if he is to be *NPO* tonight.
5. Strolls over to the nurses’ station to answer phones when she’s bored.
4. Calls out suggestions to the code team when his roommate arrests.
3. Takes out her own IV or foley catheter.
2. Uses the telephone to call the nurses’ station if no one answers her call light.
1. Has a tattoo on her chest that reads “NO CPR.”
10. You answer your home phone by saying, “Surgery, Mary, May I help you?”
9. In the perioperative nurse’s kitchen, their recipes have the ingredients listed in CC’s, grams and ounces.
8. You enter your PYXIS password on the microwave and can not figure out why the dumb thing doesn’t work!
7. You peel open food packages using sterile technique as you deliver them to your kitchen table for preparation.
6. At the check out, you are assessing the veins on the cashier, thinking, “A #16ga. insyte or butterfly?”
5. You rotate your kitchen towels and bath towels like you rotate the sterile packs at work.
4. You jump up to check your ‘ON CALL’ beeper and realize it is the pager on the TV show you’re watching that is going off.
3. Wrapping Christmas presents envelope style seems quite normal.
2. Before preparing the evening meal for your family, you wash your hands as if you are going to be scrubbing an aorta bi-fem.
1. When opening a jar at a friend’s house you repeat, “Righty tighty, lefty loosey”, and your friend looks at you like you’re from another planet.
Contributed by Dina Pratt, RN, CNOR
10: You’re talking about seeing the Crown and you’re nowhere near Buckingham Palace!
9: You know a fetoscope does not measure shoe size!
8: Broken water never involves busted pipes in your world!
7: You can get out of a speeding ticket by showing the policeman the placenta.
6: Black Birkenstocks are the most formal footwear you own.
5. You can eat cherry jello while watching a birthing movie!
4: You’ve used a speculum to put on a tight pair of shoes.
3: You know the only appropriate use for forceps is as salad tongs!
2: You’ve had your picture taken with so many babies you should run for office!
and the number one way to tell you’re a nurse midwife:
1: You call getting out of beeper range your vacation!
Happy Labor Day to all the Nurse Midwives out there!
Education doesn’t stop when you leave nursing school — and we’re not talking about continuing education, either. Some of the most critical lessons we learn as nurses are taught by our patients, including: (more…)
Hey, all you ER nurses out there! How many of these sound familiar?