Mr. Jones was suffering from excruciating chest pain, passing in and out of consciousness. He was transported by ambulance to the nearest hospital – a Catholic facility. It turns out he needed an emergency by-pass.

The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by one of the nurses, who was waiting by his bed.

“Mr. Jones, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”

“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.

“Then can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.

“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”

“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun questioned sternly.

“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”

“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Jones. Nuns are not spinsters – they are married to God.”

“Wonderful,” said Mr. Jones. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

Tags: nurse humor, paying bills, things patients say

Posted in: Jokes

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One Phone Call

Posted by kbuxman on June 29, 2009

We got advance notice from our night supervisor that a direct admit was going to be brought to our floor from the county jail. The patient was a gentleman in his late fifties with a history of alcohol abuse. As they wheeled him in, the EMTS and the patient were just howling with laughter.

The patient explained that, “Well, I got arrested for drunk driving again, and I sure the hell didn’t want to spend the night in that smelly jail, so when I got my one phone call, I called 911 and told ‘em I was having chest pain. And here I am!”