Aporkalypse Now

Posted by kbuxman on May 4, 2009

It’s Swine Flu panic! It’s Swine Flu fear!
Nurse oh Nurse I have to know,
Is the Swine Fly here?

I’m feeling rather peckish and my mood is very blue
Nurse oh Nurse I have to know,
Do I have Swine Flu?

I can’t be sick! I can’t miss work!
Nurse oh Nurse I have to know,
Can you tell who gave me this? I’m gonna deck that jerk!

This scrip’s all wrong – on the news it says I must have Tamiflu
Nurse oh Nurse I have to know,
With all that’s wrong with me, will penicillin really do?

I see you’re really busy, and your feet — they must be achin’
But Nurse oh Nurse I have to know,
Will I die since I ate that bacon?

Tags: funny nurse, funny poetry, nurse humor, nurse poetry, swine flu

Posted in: Jokes

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A Swine Time for One And All

Posted by kbuxman on April 27, 2009

By now, you’ve heard the news. A nationwide public health emergency has been issued by the Department of Health and Human Services due to the recent outbreak of Swine Flu. The first cases were reported in Mexico City, but the virus is spreading quickly. Symptoms of Swine Flu include high fever, aches, and an uncontrollable desire to roll in the mud.

Here at JNJ, we know that early identification and recognition of Swine Flu symptoms are the best way to prevent an epidemic. How do you know if your facility is about to be the next ‘hot spot’? Look for these five ‘red flags’: (more…)