Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Great demands surround you, Libra, as the phones don’t stop ringing and patients arrive in droves. Changing your office answering machine to say, “No! We don’t have the Swine Flu vaccine yet!” will help control the problem, aside from the 99.9% of patients who won’t actually listen. Good luck! Things should calm down after Thursday.
Never overestimate the value of a kind word, Scorpio. Of course, the value of one stern look and raised eyebrow should not be ignored, either, and since you’ve got plenty of those…well, this week should prove interesting, at any rate.
A chance encounter may lead to romance. It could also lead to 6,500 other infectious diseases. Proceed carefully!
Your bladder can now expand to the size of a Winnebago’s water tank, Capricorn! Think about that when you find yourself musing if you’ve made the right life choices. A career as a super-model *may* have been glamorous, but you know they can’t go 12 hours without a potty break!
You find yourself in an incredibly good mood this week, Aquarius, full of optimism, pep, and cheer. While the temptation to share this mood may be powerful, we urge caution — not everyone is ready to turn their frown upside down just yet.
Patient who steps on invoice foots the bill!
Your entire life will be better this week if you make all major decisions based on the contents of your fortune cookies. Well, maybe not better, per se…but you’ll have great stories to tell at the nurses’ station!
Body fluids, dismemberment, traumatic injury — all in a day’s work, Aries! But look out, for some patients are going to bring creepy-crawlies to the hospital with them, and we know how much that *bugs* you. It’s a rough week for phobias, fears, and anxiety — but things will strangely get better as Halloween approaches!
This is the week to call in Taurus — if there’s no way you can arrange a vacation, we suggest catching the flu. There will be much less stomach-churning, headache-inducing, eye-crossing stress that way.
Slip-sliding your way from the door to the patient’s bedside, narrowly escaping disaster and a head injury a la Conan O’Brien by grabbing the rails and hanging on for dear life will not be the most exciting thing to happen to you this week, but it comes remarkably close! Nimble footwork and quick thinking will make your life much easier.
Any port in a storm, Cancer — if Martyr Mary, everyone’s least favorite nurse, offers to help with your workload, say YES. Every hand is needed — and you know Chatty Cathy on her cellphone isn’t going to step up and help.
Discovery rules your stars this week, Leo. We’re not sure if you’ll be locating lost false teeth, the chart that went walkabout or your patient who bolted for freedom, gown just a flapping in the wind…but if it’s lost, you’ll find it.
Unless you’re looking for logic and sensibility from administration. Your stars don’t indicate any miracles of that magnitude!
Fascination with detail is a good thing — it can help you catch a med error in time — but if it keeps you from seeing everything else, it’s not so good! Make sure you’re taking in the entire picture. You don’t want to fixate on an elevated temperature and miss the sucking chest wound!
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!