Posts Tagged 'relationships'

Get A Life by Loretta LaRoche

Posted by kbuxman on February 15, 2010

Over the years a myriad of books about the differences in male/female behavior have been published. Women in particular have driven the sales and the continued interest in how to deal with the male species.

Men have always found women to be somewhat unpredictable, mysterious, and hard to understand, but seem to have very little interest in discovering the reasons. They are happy to share and validate some of what they feel in male bonding situations while watching football games or talking over a backyard fence while spraying weed killer but I’m sure they don’t share or recommend the latest research or books on how to handle their mates.

We women on the other hand think that somehow we can fix who we’re with so they can become the person we thought they were when we first met them. It’s hard for us not to try improve everyone or everything that crosses our paths.

Believe me I have spent a lot of energy doing this myself and I was left exhausted . I am certainly not an expert on how to create the perfect relationship, but I have come to the conclusion that men have a hard time with us because we tend to confuse them. Our conversations are often labyrinthine, whereas they seek to get the facts and get on with what they’re doing.

We often ask questions that if answered incorrectly could mean hours of intense interrogating on our part until we get the answer we’re looking for. Have you ever asked your partner the following: “Do I look fat in this outfit?” This is a no win situation. If he answers “You look great” we will inevitably respond with “You’re just trying to make me feel good, what do I really look like?”

If, God forbid, he stated that we looked like we gained a little weight, hell might be his next stop.

How about when you cook something and you ask “How did you like this”? If I heard “It’s good” or “Not bad”, my inner twisted sister made a solemn oath to never make the particular dish again. My grandmother would storm out of the room and pout for hours.

Perhaps real equanimity between the sexes comes as we get older and we finally realize that acceptance and the ability to laugh at oneself is a far better choice. It certainly leaves more time for fun and frolic.

Loretta LaRoche writes the Get A Life Column for the Patriot Ledger.

Tags: Loretta Laroche, nurse humor, relationships

Posted in: Bubbly-ography

Get a Life by Loretta LaRoche

Posted by kbuxman on September 7, 2009

I’ve been single for almost five years. It has been a very interesting time in my life since I went from living with my parents to marriage.

When my first marriage failed, I married again. However, after number two went bye, bye, after twenty years, I decided that I should figure out who I was. The following statement hit the nail on the head for me “It’s like magic! When you live alone all your annoying habits go away!”

However, if you’re with the right person, your habits or theirs can be a great source of amusement. I have always felt that if we could all laugh at some of our crazy behaviors, not only would more marriages last, but the world would certainly be better off for it.

And so my dream has been to find “the man” who could do that. I was close to giving up, accommodating myself to living alone with a very amusing cat.

Lo and behold, the old metaphor, “When you stop looking, someone shows up” became a reality. What fascinates me is that two years ago, I wrote a description of the type of person I was hoping to find. He is exactly that person: funny, smart, compassionate, great sense of humor and a musician.

So here I am in a relationship, trying desperately not to carry my irrational habits forward into what could be a lasting union. I have found that a great deal of maturity has taken place because I find a lot of what he does amusing rather than irritating.

In my June Cleaver days, I would have been driven insane by cabinet doors left open or a toilet seat left up. Now I find it amusing.

I realize and acknowledge that I am not perfect, which was always one of my goals, so how can I expect someone else to be? Perfection is reality gone mad.

To believe that any of us can be made happy by another human being becoming our puppet is also crazy!

Laughter should be an essential part of any partnership. Without it, all behaviors become terminally serious.

It also helps to be with a person who prefers love over fighting, and hugging over hurting. The music we share is more than a plus. We have the same history of tunes and often break out into song. I often feel that I am in a movie that I have written and directed.

But maybe the real lesson in all of this, is that when we are ready and willing to embrace love without a lot of hidden agendas, it enters our lives.

Loretta LaRoche writes the Get A Life Column for the Patriot Ledger.

Tags: establishing relationships, Loretta Laroche, love, nurses, relationships

Posted in: Get A Life

Love Lines by Greg Godek

Posted by kbuxman on March 16, 2009

greg-headshot1 REPORTS FROM THE FRONT LINES OF THE GENDER WARS, ADDRESSED TO NURSES AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM. SERIOUSLY RECORDED—WITH TONGUE (DEPRESSOR) FIRMLY IN CHEEK—FROM GREG GODEK, AUTHOR OF THE BESTSELLER 1001 WAYS TO BE ROMANTIC.

Romantic Advice: Grow Up.

Yes, yes, I know that, for the most part, the JNJ encourages your inner child to come out and play. But I’d like to talk to the adult part of your personality for a moment. The part that doesn’t giggle when sex is mentioned; the part that takes responsibility for your actions. Okay, here’s the deal: It’s time for you to take over. Enough of the childish crying over the fact that no one reads your mind and fulfills your every need; enough of the adolescent yearning for that perfect partner; enough of allowing your semi-suppressed unconscious fantasies to dictate your expectations.
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Tags: advice, Greg Godek, love, nurses, relationships, romance

Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes, Uncategorized