Posts Tagged 'Paul C. Millard'
USED ER NURSE FOR SALE!
Older model Male. High mileage, full size model. Paint is fading from black to gray and falling off the top. Headlights out of focus, engine sometimes skips at idle, recent suspension work (ball joints). Stock sound system works fine. Frame is bent from motorcycle collision. Frequent foul exhaust, occasional backfire through the intake, small fluid leaks. Needs fuel additives twice daily for best operation. Used daily. Ideal for someone who wants reliability but not worried about bling or latest gadgets. Denim upholstery easily upgraded if desired. Best offer takes it and associated spare parts (crutches, walker, cane, assorted extra upholstery many embroidered with names of previous owners). Will take best offer. No dealers. Call Paul at 555-geezer-boomer.
In light of the current economic difficulties, the following cost cutting measures will be implemented immediately. Please post this memo and share with your coworkers. Managers will schedule you if needed to help you accomplish these sorely needed changes.
Food services will be outsourced to the McDonald’s dollar menu. The cafeteria microwave ovens will be used to replace x-ray equipment.
Bio-Med repairs have been outsourced to the “Geek Squad.” They will be in house tomorrow to work on the microwave ovens on the floors. By reversing the wiring we will be able to use them as air conditioners.
Staff driving to work should bring the corner stalkers with their “will work for food” signs. They will replace the maintenance staff in return for food, magic markers and cardboard. (more…)