Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'patient'

Whinorrhea! By Elizabeth A. Schultz, RN, BSN

Marsha took a deep cleansing breath before entering Room 519.  It was only midnight, and she already answered Mrs. Gorski’s call light four times.  The evening nurse had given Mrs. G. a Halcion at 9:30 and assured Marsha she would sleep through the night.  Another empty promise.

“What took you so long?” Mrs. G whined.  “I called 10 minutes ago.  What if it had been an emergency?  I could be dead by now..maybe that would be a good thing.  I wish I were dead.”

“Mrs. Gorski,” Marsha said calmly, “I saw your light go on from down the hall.  I finished what I was doing and came directly to your room.  I’ve been in here five times, and I really do need to check my other patients before it gets much later.  Now, what can I do for you?” (more…)

Posted in: Classic JNJ, Columns

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The Sweetest Thing…

We have a patient who has a terrible time complying with his diabetes diet. This came up in conversation after I checked his fasting sugars and found them to be 300+!!!

Thinking this was the ideal time to do some patient education, I started talking about his food choices. It turns out he had a real passion for baked goods: donuts, crullers, danishes — if it came out of an oven, it was likely to go into his mouth.

So we’re talking about this, and he keeps insisting that all of these items were ‘safe’. Dunkin’ Donuts wouldn’t sell him anything unsafe apparently! And so I’m patiently trying to explain this, and he’s insisting that it’s all safe and finally his wife loses patience and says, “Yes, dear — all of that’s safe — right until you put it into your mouth!”

I’m glad SHE said it, so I didn’t have to!

Name withheld by request

What’s the funniest thing a patient’s ever said to you about their diabetes? Or anything else, for that matter? Send them to us at Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com — let us know if you want us to use your name or keep you anonymous!

Posted in: Jokes

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Incident Reports: PSYCH

Most hospital incident reports pertain to patient falls or malfunctioning equipment.  On a Mental Health Unit, however, some fairly strange events often take place that have to be reported.  Here are some fo those incident reports that might lead a utilization reviewer to acetaminophen: (more…)

Posted in: Classic JNJ

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Embarrasing Moment

One morning I was called into the operating room to help hold down a brawny young fellow who was still groggy from his anesthesia. “Put your arm across his chest,” I was told. As I did so, I looked directly into his face. He was a good looking man I’d never seen before.

Suddenly the patient opened his eyes and gazed blearily into mine. He started to smile, and said, “Why, I remember you. You’re the girl from Vancouver. Boy, what a weekend THAT was.”

He closed his eyes and slipped peacefully under the anesthetic, leaving me to the laughter of my friends.

By Margaret Clarke, RN

Posted in: Enjoying Humor, Jokes

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Waiting for the Other To Drop

As a student, I was assigned to a patient: after a bed bath, it was time to get her out of bed. Try as I might, I could only find her right shoe. A fellow student who walked into the room found me on all fours, looking under the bed for the elusive second shoe.

I told her what I was doing, and then it hit me. The patient had a left AKA!

By Amy Nemetz

Posted in: School Days

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