Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'nurse poetry'

Nursing Limericks by PD Singer

A nursing home patient, demented,
Catheterized and stented,
Combative with staff,
Would not take a bath,
And was avocado-scented.

It was horrid – his urine was cloudy
With E coli? and other debris.
One lone C and S
Couldn’t sort out this mess
Of bacterial anomaly.

The ID response was chaotic,
Giving random antibiotic,
With learned conjectures
And Grand Rounds lectures
They made diagnoses exotic.

The nurse who changed out the Foley
Screamed, “For love of all that is holy –
You don’t need ciprofloxacin
To kill off the toxacin
That bag contains guacamole!”

Posted in: Columns

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A Poem For Nurses Everywhere

Editor’s Note: This was sent to us by “Anonymous” who writes “Names have been changed to protect the clumsy!”

Fred’s catheter tubing hung down,
Off the bed, barely clearing the ground.
Then his nurse, Betty-Lou,
Hooked the tube with her shoe.
Fred’s yell was heard all over town!

ENTER OUR LIMERICK CONTEST!

It’s that time of year again: The Journal of Nursing Jocularity Limerick Contest begins TODAY! Want to win fame, glory, and the chance to be proclaimed a Most Excellent Poet by your peers and colleagues?

Here’s what you need to do:

Write a humorous limerick related to the world of nursing and patient care and send it to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com Each week throughout January, we’ll be posting the best ones we receive and letting our readers vote for the best. All of the winning limericks will then be posted on January 31st, and readers will be able to each pick their favorite. The author who wrote the limerick that receives the most votes wins an autographed copy of Karyn Buxman’s This Won’t Hurt A Bit! And Other Fractured Truths in Healthcare and more importantly, fame and glory unmatched by any other honor available in the world of medical poetry today!

Need some help getting started? Here’s a great article on How to Write Limericks. (Although the article says don’t be afraid to be dirty, we’ve got to say that if you want us to publish it, keep it family friendly, folks!)

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

Posted in: Columns

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Ode (Owed?) To a Triage Nurse

Doing the paperwork
surrounded by locks

all of this chaos
in the triage box

get a good history
front man for docs

get them seen quickly
or so angrily they gawk

telephone’s ringing
stab wound in walks

voice at the window
at the door knocks

rash covered patient
is it a pox

even when quiet (yeah right)
hear monitors and clocks

please help me quickly
a scared patient talks

a policeman’s radio
behind you it squawks

a “code 13″ patient
security stalks

think like an owl
act like a fox

hope someone relieves you
before it runs in your socks

Contributed by Paul Millard, RN, Etc

Posted in: Columns

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Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the lab
The call team was stirring, and boy, were they mad!

It started at midnight while asleep in their beds
while visions of PTO cash outs danced in their heads

When off in the distance there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter

Their pagers were beeping as they ran down the hall
When finally they reached them and hurled them at the wall

No sleep for the weary
The weather was dreary
But this did not stop our dedicated team
For saving lives is always their dream

They arrived, all of them tired
Only to find that the doctor was wired

He wanted it now, he couldn’t wait you see
Conveniently calling it…an “emergency”

It wasn’t a STEMI, STAT or Code Blue
So why the Hell did he call in the crew?

Sick Sinus Syndrome, a pacemaker needed!
This conversation…was about to get heated!

“What the Hell!” said Darlene from under her mask
As Adam stopped his diligent task

The nurse had just called from upstairs on the floor
The patient had eaten an hour before!

If looks could kill, someone would be dead
They knew that the doctor was out of his head!

Keith called up Marty to rally his cause
But his ranting was followed by one big, long pause

His words were halted abruptly because
In his haste to tattle, he had called Santa Claus!

“Now, Staci, now Cindy, now Larry and Marty
Don’t call me tonight I’m at an Elf Party!!!!”
“No need to be angry, no need to hate
When it comes to malpractice, I’ll raise his rate!”

The elves started laughing, at the Blue Crew’s endless plight
Shouting “Merry Christmas to all and to all a sleepless night!”

Contributed by Kathy, Julie and the Blue Crew!

Posted in: Uncategorized

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