The floor on which I work was temporarily divided into Med/Surg and OB/GYN units. Since there was no physical division between units, our rooms ran right up to theirs. One night a nurse from the orthopedic floor had been pulled to work the med/surg end of the floor. With an IV antibiotic in her hand she was looking confused and lost trying to find the right room. I asked her what patient she needed.
“Peter somebody,” she said.
I loudly proclaimed that our half of the hall was for OB/GYN patients only. “We only get women. There are no Peters down here!”
A doctor remarked on his patient’s ruddy complexion.
“I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure. It’s from my family.”
“Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor.
“Neither,” the patient replied. “It’s from my wife’s side.”
“What?” the doctor said. “That can’t be. You can’t possibly get high blood pressure from your wife’s family!”
“Oh yeah?” the patient responded “You should meet them sometime!”
I thought I’d seen everything in my 22 years of nursing, but this takes the cake: we had a patient bring a digital recorder to the procedure! He asked us to make sure it was switched on while he was in recovery – he wanted to ‘capture’ the sounds of his farts and upload them to the internet!
I guess every one wants to be famous for something!
Contributed by David W., RN
Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.