Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Shouldn’t there be a RR for nurses? Somewhere lovely, after the shift’s done, where cell phones don’t work, and people who enter asking you anything besides “Is that enough chocolate or would you like more?” spontaneously combust? Cancer’s inquisitive nature and a busy week has you searching for this wonderful place — let us know if you find it!
Knowing that all bleeding stops…eventually…and that ignoring a problem can, in fact, make it go away rather permanently is part of being a nurse. It doesn’t however apply to interpersonal relationships with colleagues, friends, and random people you know! Speak up and take care of yourself NOW!
When the obnoxious caller rings for the third time in two hours demanding to know how Mom is doing, tell them — substituting information about your own Mother. This is a great solution, unless, of course, your Mother has passed away. Use your judgment, people!
The good news, Libra, is that management has your back. The bad news is that they’re considering it as the next sharps storage unit! Document, document, document.
It’s well known that a very fine line separates “Hobby” from “Mental Illness” — but this week, you’re not worried about that line — you’re dazzled by what your patients do for recreation!
Did you hear about the butcher down in the ER? Backed right up into the meat grinder. Not only is he in really rough shape, but he’s behind at work!
Capricorn fears when security is called to pediatrics. Nerves settle down when it is revealed all the trouble was simply a three year old resisting a rest.
What happens to GI specialists when they die? Generally, we barium. May the winds of change be a source of delight to you this week, Aquarius!
The simplest explanation is often the best one, which is good to keep in mind when taking patient histories! It’s amazing how often and awkwardly people will fall, particularly in states of undress…
What side of a duck has the most feathers? The outside! Aries, don’t get caught up in details to such a degree that you miss the big picture!
If a patient’s refused medication, do the pills go to whoever calls dibs on them first? This can be an interesting discussion — particularly if the right ‘concerned visitors’ are around!
Patients convinced of your superior nursing skills want you to diagnose what’s wrong with them based on the stool sample they conveniently brought from home, in the underpants they happened to be wearing. Tell them you only read tea leaves and tarot cards – anything else requires the MD’s personal attention!
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!