During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn.
The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months.
As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn’t hurt much.
Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did.
When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, “This might hurt a little more than I thought.”
- Rules of wounds
- A “sucking chest wound” is nature’s way of telling you to slow down.
- If you’re bleeding to death, say something witty.
- If you’re actually dying, say something deep.
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his series of injections, asked for a glass of water.
“What’s the matter, Mate?” asked the sick bay attendant. “Do you feel pain?”
“No. I just want to see if I’m still watertight!”
Did you know that the Army can cure death? It’s true:
During an Army war game, a commanding officer’s jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.
“Sorry sir,” said one of the loafers, “but we’ve been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn’t contribute in any way.”
The C.O. turned to his driver and said, “Go drag a couple of those dead bodies over here and throw them under the wheels to give us some traction.”