One of our patients was really worried that they were diagnosed incorrectly. “Are you sure I have pneumonia? I saw on the news a guy was being treated for pneumonia, and it turns out he really had cancer! He wound up dying of it.”
“Don’t worry,” our doc said. “If I’m treating you for pneumonia, you’re going to die of pneumonia.”
Strangely, the patient didn’t appear to feel much better after that reassurance!
A man walks into the ER, dressed to the nines — he’s got a suit jacket, vest, tie, really elegant from his head to his toes. But his clothes are ripped, there are several cuts on his face, and I can see little bits of glass shining in his hair.
“Have an accident?” I asked him.
“No thanks,” he replied. “I’ve just had one.”
Contributed by Sandy R, RN, Virginia
Have a funny story you want to share with the Journal of Nursing Jocularity readership? Send it to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com !
It’s late on a snowy evening here in farm country. We’ve gotten the head’s up that there’s been a pretty serious MVA, with a pickup truck colliding with a farmer and his wagon. We’re expecting a disaster, of course, but when the rig pulls in, the patient says he feels fine.
“That’s all he’s been saying since we got there,” said the State Trooper who accompanied the ambulance carrying the pickup truck driver – the guy who caused the accident my patient was involved in.
“Is that true, Mr. X?” I asked him. “You were in a terrible accident. Your wagon is destroyed, from what I understand. And you say you feel fine?”
He looked at me, and then he looked at the cop. “That fella there, he saw that my horse had a broken leg from the accident. So he shot him. And then he saw my dog was pretty torn up, so he shot him, too. When he gets over to me and asks, “How are you doing?” what do you think I’m going to say?”
One of our docs has a reputation for being a world traveler. He’s a big game hunter and whenever he gets some free time flies off on these expeditions. He hunts caribou in the frozen North, wild boar in Texas — he recently got back from a African safari.
Another one of our doctors asked him how the trip went.
“It was terrible,” the doc said. “Very disappointing. I didn’t kill a thing. I might as well stayed here and worked!”
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a Christmas bell!
Just take these pills! If they don’t work, give me a ring!
Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can’t sleep.
Try lying on the edge of your bed … you’ll soon drop off!
Doctor, Doctor I’m scared of Saint Nicholas!
You’re suffering from Claus-trophobia.
Doctor, Doctor, my problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!
Try this medicine…and if it doesn’t work come back and bring me a new video camera.