Posts Tagged 'medical humor'
A woman with terminal cancer returns to religion with fervor. She knows that God will help her get better.
Early in her sickness, a surgeon proposes radical surgery.
“No”, she says, “I don’t want to get mutilated and suffer pain. It’s not necessary, God will help me”.
A while later, she sees a radiologist and he proposes radiation to treat the tumor, which by now is uncomfortably large. “No”, she says, “I don’t want radiation burns inside and out. It’s not necessary. God will help me.”
A year later, the cancer has metastasized. It’s painful and she is referred to an oncologist. Chemotherapy is advised. “No”, she says, “I don’t want to be sick all the time and lose my hair as well. It’s not necessary. God will help me”.
Soon after, she dies. She goes to Heaven and demands an audience with God. “Why didn’t you help me?,” she whines.
“What do you mean? I sent you help three times: a surgeon, a radiologist and an oncologist. What more did you want?”
To encourage patients to take deep breaths after surgery, nurses or respiratory therapists will teach the patient to use inspirometers. Several years ago, a popular model included a chamber with three plastic balls, which, when the patient blew into the mouthpiece hard enough, would rise to the top of the chamber.
The young male respiratory therapist had been working with 85-year-old Mrs. M every hour. She was growing weary. As he entered the room for the ninth time, the patient announced: “Looky here, sonny! You can just blow your own balls!”
Quote from Patty Wooten, RN
Q: What is the definition of a holistic orthopedic surgeon?
A: They consider the whole bone.
From FriendsofIrony.com Here at JNJ, we always say a Friend of Irony is a Friend of Ours!