Posts Tagged 'libra'

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on December 28, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Capricorn

This week brings a rash of Christmas gift-induced injuries, Capricorn. You’ll find it hard to believe what people manage to do to themselves with a Snuggie!

Aquarius

Thou shalt not empty the bedpan into the annoying visitor’s conveniently open tote bag…no matter how much you want to!

Pisces

Poor Pisces! On the go, go, go this holiday season, you’re considering booking an international flight for the luxury of being ‘forced’ to remain in a seat for an hour.

Aries

Eager Aries loves a party — and the fact you’re working New Year’s Eve isn’t going to stop you from having fun. Strategic re-purposing of medical supplies can create that festive air and all your patients will LOVE being woken up just in time to ring in the New Year!

Taurus

Frustrations abound, but steady, stubborn Taurus remains eerily calm. If you can’t find something to freak out about, fake it…otherwise those diversion whispers are going to start!

Gemini

It’s a full moon Thursday, Gemini. If you start now, you might be able to build a secure bunker in the supply room just in time to hide out from all the ‘excitement’.

Cancer

Beware of administrators bearing gifts — there might be a lot of uncovered shifts you don’t know about…YET.

Leo

Perpetually perky colleagues are annoying — but when 80% of them call in, you find yourself longign for their smiling faces.

Virgo

You love making resolutions Virgo, but remember to be realistic! Being the perfect nurse, the perfect parent and the perfect romantic partner is quite a goal. Try picking just one of those and going easy on yourself.

Libra

Going to work gives you a much needed respite from the hustle and bustle of home. Sad but true!

Scorpio

A co-worker’s efforts to spread holiday cheer initially provokes your scorn, but your tune changes when you join in the fun. Half the joy comes from the shocked look on your colleague’s face!

Sagittarius

You missed out (barely!) on a Code Brown Christmas, but fret not: the year won’t end with you unsatisfied!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. Ask your Mother instead. She loves to tell you what to do!

Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, Horoscopes for Nurses, leo, libra, pisces, sagittarius, scorpio, taurus, virgo

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on December 14, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

The holiday season surrounds Sagittarius with good tidings and cheer — if only you could take a moment to stop and enjoy them! Midweek worries melt away as a special event approaches: relax, you’re stressing more than you need to.

Capricorn

No, Capricorn, that’s not Christmas fudge the new admit is covered in. Your optimism is a beautiful testament to the power of the holiday season, though!

Aquarius

They say nurses eat their young, and we know your tummy’s rumbling, but you’re making the unit nervous carrying around that bottle of barbecue sauce!

Pisces

At some point between Tuesday evening and Thursday afternoon, the continual holiday music being played in your facility will drive you completely bonkers, at which point you will have no alternative but to do a soft-shoe dance routine down the hall! Be prepared.

Aries

The truth will be revealed this week, Aries, and although you might not like it at first, it will turn out to be the best gift you get all season.

Taurus

Ever notice how the changes that are supposed to make your life easier, your charting faster, your patient satisfaction higher, and your thighs thinner actually make things more complicated in the long run? The trick is to design a system that would change everything back to the simple, efficient way you used to do things and then sell the administration on it…

Gemini

Frustration and anger disappears this week in a sudden burst of laughter. Invite joy into your life, and all the troubles that have been plaguing you will fall into their proper perspective. (Although calling in in order to watch the entire season of SCRUBS probably won’t endear you to your co-workers!)

Cancer

Is there a problem you can’t fix, Cancer? You’re called for all kinds of situations this week: TV remotes that don’t work, lights that burn out, spills in the hallway, clogged toilets, and more — and that’s before that silly life-saving stuff you call work!

Leo

On a rare moment away from work, a random stranger will ask you a deeply involved, very personal medical question. As much as it is an imposition on your time, it is your sworn duty to inform them of the 73,000 Deadly Serious Diseases that manifest exactly the symptoms being described and urge them to the hospital before their limbs fall off. If and when the patient sees you after the fact, deny ever having the conversation. This will perk up an otherwise relatively boring week.

Virgo

What do you know? They were out to get you. This week, you’ll be picking up the pieces of someone else’s mistake, correcting other people’s errors, and generally saving the day. It’s a good thing you’re Super Nurse!

Libra

Your charts are full of inspiration and artistic expression, Libra…that’s why you can’t stop singing carols all day long. But you might be rendered speechless by a surprising development on Thursday.

Scorpio

The newest non-invasive stress test? Mention to your patients that there’s only 11 days til Christmas! That’ll get that pulse rate right up! It’s Scorpio’s week for innovative health care techniques.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. Just soak up the absolutely astonishing entertainment value and you’ll be great .

Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, leo, libra, Nurse Astrology, nurse humor, nurse jokes, pisces, sagittarius, scorpio, Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne, suzanne labarne, taurus, virgo

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on December 7, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

Does fruitcake actually look any different after serving a stint as a bowel obstruction? Inquiring minds want to know, but if you’re lucky, Sagittarius, this week you’ll get to find out!

Capricorn

Your diagnostic skills save the day, Capricorn! Getting the vending machine running again saves the unit’s morale — good for you!

Aquarius

Once in a lifetime, everything runs perfectly as planned. That moment won’t be this week! Your grace juggling multiple tasks, soothing cranky doctors, and wrangling wayward patients will make it seem that way, though.

Pisces

Be careful, Pisces. Your ego has swollen like a pre-eclamptic patient with a potato chip addiction. Rein in the self-praise before someone does it for you!

Aries

You’ve heard of a ‘gut instinct’? Nurses have a highly developed gut instinct — we can tell when all of the junk bubbling around in a patient’s belly is going to come out! This week, you’ll be very glad of your gut instinct!

Taurus

You thought you were ‘unshockable’ but you thought wrong, Taurus! Exciting adventures had by others leave you shaking your head — but is that judgment or envy?

Gemini

Less is more, Gemini. Except when it comes to Ativan. Then more is good.

Cancer

Soft hearted Cancer is overwhelmed by emotion as the holidays creep closer. Take time out to focus on the good times and enjoy yourself: it’s too soon to call a Code Blue Christmas!

Leo

It’s a good idea to cover your assets, Leo, but this week you’re forced to delve deeply and examine your inner nature. It might be tense at first, but don’t worry — this too shall pass!

Virgo

Paranoia is not normally contagious, but you seem to have contracted quite a case, Virgo. Shadowy conversations and conspiracy theories fill your thoughts. Don’t take this as a sign that they’re NOT out to get you!

Libra

A colleague is feeling down, and you’re determined to cheer her up. Before you go all Secret Santa on her, step back and see where you could lend a hand. Friendly assistance is the gift she’d value the most!

Scorpio

Life’s too short for regret. Scorpio finds herself fired up this week. Your brash, take-no-prisoners, tell-it-how-it-is approach might not win you many fans, but things will get done.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. Really. For true guidance, you want to examine the internal organs of black-feathered roosters.

Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, leo, libra, nurse horoscopes, pisces, sagittarius, scorpio, taurus, virgo

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on November 23, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

We know you’re silver tongued, Sagittarius, but this week, you’ll find your foot firmly in your mouth if you’re not careful! Communications prove to be troubling until Thursday, at which point much will become clear.

Capricorn

Fears crop up from a long-forgotten corner, Capricorn; anxiety and self-doubt plague every decision. That is until you remember to consider the source of your loudest critics — and the fact they think the hospital is REALLY just like Scrubs!

Aquarius

Logistical triumphs mark your week, Aquarius: who else can dispense meds, track down a wandering patient, get a doctor to clarify an order, answer the call button nineteen times, and re-start the IV pump the visitor shut off for being ‘too loud’ all in the first twelve seconds of a shift?

Pisces

It must be Thanksgiving, Pisces: You’re surrounded by turkeys!

Aries

The unexpected is so usual that you consider even the strangest day routine, Aries, but this week something will happen that will shatter your usual aplomb. Make sure to knock on every door and announce yourself before pulling back every curtain, just to be sure!

Taurus

This week presents you with the opportunity to make exciting self-discoveries, Taurus. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? (Yes, we’d run and hide too…)

Gemini

This holiday season, you’ll find yourself surrounded by people who think your life is either exactly like “Mercy” or “Scrubs” Confuse them by acting out the funny bits of the former and the sexy bits of the latter.

Cancer

Studies DO say that having companion animals speeds recovery times. Lucky you has the patient who decides to test the theory with a head full of crawly little companions. Let’s see if they get well before you get ill!

Leo

It’s amazing, isn’t it, Leo, how the same family members who hadn’t seen Granny in years are now incensed it might take you a minute to respond to her call?

Virgo

You know you’re getting older when your first thought upon hearing about Sketcher’s new line of nursing shoes was not “What do they look like?” but “How comfortable are they?” This week will be full of similar distressing moments of self-knowledge.

Libra

A passionate love affair is beginning on your unit. Everyone knows, but no one wants to say. You can see it in their eyes…the sideways glances, the raised eyebrow. It’s just not natural for someone to be *that* fond of the coffeepot!

Scorpio

Almost every nurse cares for someone famous over the course of this career. This could be your week as the world’s most famous catfish wrangler and professional contortionist needs care.

Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, leo, libra, pisces, sagittarius, scorpio, taurus, virgo

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on November 16, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Scorpio

You will be filled with the uncontrollable urge to do one silly thing this week, Scorpio. Better do it early and get it right out of the way. Do a silly thing TODAY. If that urge comes back tomorrow, well, give in to it, and that should cure the problem. Really. Nothing in your stars mentions ridiculous walks, animal imitations, or dancing in the hallway…honest…we mean it…

Sagittarius

Security weighs heavy on Sagittarius’ mind this week; anxiety abounds. Resist the temptation to pile on extra hours: burn yourself out and you won’t be doing yourself any favors. This tension will pass as the season changes.

Capricorn

An unexpected visitor will cause chaos and upset…it’s difficult to tell from here if that means patients, inspectors, or celebrity guests, but you’d better try to be ready!

Aquarius

You know how they say there’s no such thing as a dumb question? This week you’ll discover why that saying is wrong! The stars promise learning opportunities in quantity for mentors, preceptors, ‘buddys’ and other supervisory types.

Pisces

Pisces wins the week! Your stars are in alignment. Everything you touch will turn to gold…well, actually, that didn’t work out too well for King Midas. Maybe every patient you touch will turn into a grateful, compliant, relatively self-sufficient decent human being. That’s only slightly less likely than the gold thing, right?

Aries

Given the opportunity, miracles could happen this week. Failing that, I heard there’s good cake in the cafeteria.

Taurus

Taurus has a week of challenges ahead. Fortunately, some of that famed Taurus determination will kick in and get you through the worst of it. That, or judicious use of sick time…

Gemini

Anticipation can be a positive emotion — you can look forward to the end of your shift — or a negative one, where you dread discovering exactly what those noises coming from in the next room means. This week you’ll have to choose, Gemini, but pick carefully…the immediate choice is seldom the best.

Cancer

Connections are important, as romance and family dominate your charts. That being said, don’t overlook the value of connecting the 02 to the mask, the monitor plug to the outlet, things like that!

Leo

If you want to make your NM laugh, just tell her you have plans.

Virgo

Once upon a time, Virgo, you dreamed of working in a laboratory, test tubes and beakers, solutions bubbling over the bunsen burner, the whole bit. That analytic passion will serve you well this week…or will get you drafted to pinch hit for stressed out pharm techs!

Libra

It’s not magic, just your natural skills and talents at work, Libra. But you don’t have to let THEM know that!

Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, leo, libra, pisces, sagittarius, scorpio, Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne, taurus, virgo

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