Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'jokes for nurses'

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

A group of psychiatrists were attending a convention. Four of them decided to leave, and walked out together.

One said to the other three, “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears, but we have no one that we can go to when we have problems.” The others agreed.

Then one said, “Since we are all professionals, why don’t we take some time right now to hear each other out?” The other three agreed.

The first then confessed, “I have an uncontrollable desire for sex and I frequently seduce my female patients.”

The second psychiatrist said, “I love expensive things and so I find ways to cheat my patients out of their money whenever I can so I can buy the things I want.”

The third followed with, “I’m involved with selling drugs and often get my patients to sell them for me.”

The fourth psychiatrist then confessed, “I know I’m not supposed to, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep a secret.”

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Can You Write an Order for a DayPlanner?

The patient demanded, “Doc, I just must have a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart transplant.”

“WHAT?” yelled the doctor. “Tell me, exactly why you think you need all these transplants.”

“Well,” explained the patient, “my boss told me that I needed to get reorganized.”

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It Never Fails

  • The craziest shift you’ve ever had in your entire career will be the day of the fire drill.
  • The harder the stick, the more labs are needed.
  • Your nose won’t itch all day…until the minute you get those gloves on!
  • The one colleague you tell how difficult your patient is being is the one person related to that patient — usually for a hundred miles!
  • The more adamant the visitor is about their extensive medical background, the more likely they are to hit the floor at the first sight of blood.
  • The further the bed is from the nurses’ station, the more often the call button is pressed.
  • The more unsteady a patient is, the more determined they become to shower alone.
  • There’s a box of every sized glove you need on your floor — except yours.
  • The minute you make it into the supply room is the minute you forgot what you needed.
  • The more critical the equipment, the more likely it is to be broken.

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