While working evening shift on a busy medical floor, I was assigned to care for a rather grumpy gentleman. After I passed the bedtime medicines, he approached me at the nurses’ station and told me I neglected to give him any medication to help him sleep.
The medication sheets revealed prn orders for only Tylenol and Milk of Magnesia. When I explained this, he replied, “Well, give me the Milk of Magnesia. If I can’t sleep, I might as well do something!”
In a freak accident at the factory, Jim had his ear cut off.
Naturally, work was immediately stopped and all the workers went about looking for this poor bloke’s ear.
Eventually, somebody found an ear on the ground and holds it up, saying “I’ve found it, I’ve found it!”
To which Jim replies; “No, that ain’t mine. My ear had a pencil behind it!”
I work in geriatrics, and as you can imagine we deal with a lot of end of life issues. After a while you get used to it, but it can be hard for the newer staff. Luckily our doctors are great and especially supportive of the staff.
One of our residents was really struggling, and went to the doc with a question. Her patient was really ready for comfort care, but her spouse wasn’t. “What do I say to him?” she asked. “He keeps asking if doing this makes him a bad person.”
The doc took the resident by the hand, looked her straight in the eye, and said, “I’d say, I don’t know for certain, but the odds are pretty good you’re going to hell!”
Submitted by Megan R, RN
Don’t you hate it when everyone you know asks you the best way to cure their bunions, gout, stomach ache and more? Here’s one way to stop that problem — and you don’t have to spend a dime:
doctor and a lawyer were chatting at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer,” and then I send them a bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.