Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'joke'

Who Knew? Heaven Can Wait!

After living to a ripe old age, Dr. Jones, a world-famous surgeon, passed away during his sleep. He found himself at the back of an extremely long line leading up to the Pearly Gates.

After waiting what seemed like an eternity, Dr. Jones decided that he shouldn’t have to wait in line. He walked up to the Pearly Gates and said to St. Peter, “I’m Dr. Benny Jones, world famous surgeon. While on earth, I saved many lives and cured countless illnesses. I don’t think I should have to wait in this line.”

St. Peter curtly replied, “Here in Heaven, everyone is treated the same. Now go back to the end of the line.”

As he walked to the back of the line, he noticed a gentleman in a white lab coat with a leather bag and stethoscope, obviously a doctor, walk up to the front of the line. St. Peter waved him right through.

Furious, Dr. Jones ran up to St. Peter and shouted, “Why did that doctor get to go right through?”

St. Peter smiled and said, “Oh, that was God. Sometimes he just likes to play doctor.”

Do you have a favorite doctor joke? Send it to us at Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com We’ll share it with the world!

Posted in: Uncategorized

Leave a Comment (0) →

The Sweetest Thing…

We have a patient who has a terrible time complying with his diabetes diet. This came up in conversation after I checked his fasting sugars and found them to be 300+!!!

Thinking this was the ideal time to do some patient education, I started talking about his food choices. It turns out he had a real passion for baked goods: donuts, crullers, danishes — if it came out of an oven, it was likely to go into his mouth.

So we’re talking about this, and he keeps insisting that all of these items were ‘safe’. Dunkin’ Donuts wouldn’t sell him anything unsafe apparently! And so I’m patiently trying to explain this, and he’s insisting that it’s all safe and finally his wife loses patience and says, “Yes, dear — all of that’s safe — right until you put it into your mouth!”

I’m glad SHE said it, so I didn’t have to!

Name withheld by request

What’s the funniest thing a patient’s ever said to you about their diabetes? Or anything else, for that matter? Send them to us at Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com — let us know if you want us to use your name or keep you anonymous!

Posted in: Jokes

Leave a Comment (0) →

Lighten Up! by Loretta LaRoche

LIGHTEN UP!

The Authentic and Fun Way to Lose Your Weight and Your Worries

By Loretta LaRoche

Weight loss, exercise, and stress management have become a national mania. Not a day
goes by without an article appearing in the media that reveals how certain foods could
be harmful or helpful to our health. Our meals have become either demonic or divine.
We’ve forgotten how to be in a “right relationship” with one of the greatest pleasures
we have in life: eating. As a result, we’re fatter than ever and more stressed out
about being fat!

Loretta LaRoche is sick to death of diets and diet books . . . so why is she writing a
book about losing weight?

“One of the reasons why I feel compelled to write this book is simple: I can’t stand
it anymore! The other is the desire to encourage you to develop a more pragmatic and
optimistic approach in relation to food, movement, and life’s inevitable ups and downs.

I’ve struggled with this problem, I’ve watched countless friends suffer because of it,
and I’ve helped tens of thousands of people deal with the stresses that bear down on
their lives, often because of weight and health issues.

There are a variety of solutions in LIGHTEN UP! that you might not have explored up to
this point. They require taking action. These answers aren’t simple, but they’re much
easier to incorporate into your life than expending your time and energy on useless
diets, gadgets, and faux scientific cures. They take commitment, common sense, and the
ability to learn emotional self-regulation.”

Learn to eat well, move with joy, and live a more balanced life. Order LIGHTEN UP!
Now! Here!

In this humorous and informative book, Loretta shares her expertise as an international stress consultant, former aerobics instructor, and owner of a wellness center. LIGHTEN UP! can offer you perspective and help you set healthy, realistic goals with its numerous tools and techniques.

* Develop a sane relationship with food

* Stay committed to your goals

* Be passionate about eating nutritious meals

* Develop tools to reduce stress

* Focus on your successes

* Experience more mindfulness in the way you approach food

* Create health AND well-being

Weight loss is a physical, mental, and spiritual process. Learning how to work on these aspects together will help you maintain a relationship with food that will nurture you, fuel you, and give you joy.

Lighten up, slow down the pace, and make mealtimes a vital part of your day. Order LIGHTEN UP! and start down the path to a happier, healthier life!

In celebration of the release of LIGHTEN UP!, Hay House is offering a variety of prizes, including a chance to see Loretta LIVE! View all of the Prizes and Enter to Win:  here!

Don’t miss Loretta’s latest Public Television special! If you haven’t seen Loretta LaRoche in action, you’re in for a rare treat. Loretta’s seventh public television special, “Juicy Living, Juicy Aging,” begins airing this month. Armed with her amazing wit and refreshing candor, Loretta challenges us to embrace our lives by being wiser, healthier, happier, more enthusiastic, and juicier! Check your local listings to find out what times Juicy Living, Juicy Aging will be broadcast in your area!

Posted in: Bubbly-ography

Leave a Comment (0) →

Four Letter Surgery

The scene: a post-op bed near you. The nurse, brisk, efficient, and cheerful, is checking over her most recent admit, who seems to be through the worst of it.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Great! I just wish the surgeon hadn’t used that four-letter word during my procedure.”

“Four letter word?” The nurse is shocked. She knows this doctor — a fine, upstanding woman who is very aware of all the rules and regulations. “What in the world did she say?”

“OOPS!”

Posted in: Jokes

Leave a Comment (0) →

The Top Ten Reasons To Take Those Extra Shifts

10. You’ll lose a ton of weight — because there’s never time to eat!

9. Develop a closer bond with your co-workers, responding to all those codes!

8. Everyone is so frazzled, you’ll look fabulous by comparison!

7. Enjoy the challenge to your nursing skills to run a code without a crash cart because they’re all down in Central, being replaced!

6. Experience the joy of having the previous shift’s charge nurse tell you, “I don’t know why no one would return my calls tonight.  By the way, you’re short two nurses and a CNA, with a full shift of patients as sick as dog dirt!”

5. Be the “Team Player” your nursing instructor told it was so vital to be!

4. Know that you are truly a caregiver — with an aching back, sore feet, and an interesting perspective on patients who think a 3 am gas attack is truly an emergency!

3. Learn new computer skills putting in your own orders and ordering supplies from Central!

2. Inadquate time to chart correctly may win you an exciting tour of our nation’s judicial system!

1. It’s a great LEARNING EXPERIENCE!

Posted in: PRN: Funny Stories, Uncategorized

Leave a Comment (0) →
Page 1 of 4 1234