I was at the nurses’ station when a patient’s wife passed by, carrying a large, apparently heavy cardboard box. A few minutes later, the patient’s call light went on. I went into the room and the patient asked me if I would give this box to the doctor. I must have looked puzzled.
The patient said, “He told me to have my wife bring in all my old records!”
A little 8 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. The day after the proceedure he returned to school.
During class, he became uncomfortable and asked for permission to go to the nurse. When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal (and having read the absence note for the previous day) the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy.
Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Back to class,” said the boy.
“But you can’t go back like that!” explained the nurse.
“I have to,” stressed the boy. “My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up.”
SCHOOL NURSES: It’s SUMMER! Send us your funniest stories about the year that was and we’ll share them with everyone! Email them to Cindy@journalofnursing jocularity.com
Mrs. White came to the labor and delivery area one afternoon with possible ruptured membranes. She had visited us several times with the same complaint, so she was familiar with the terminology we used when we test for membrane rupture.
I prepared the equipment I needed for the three part assessment (pooling, Nitrazine, ferning). As I began my exam, she exclaimed, “I just know my water is broken this time. I can smell the ferns!”
One of my older patients noticed the laptops we’re using for charting now and asked what that was all about. I explained about electronic medical records, and said that one day, the experts predict we’ll be using computers for everything.
“I’d like to see how we’re supposed to wipe our backsides then!” was his reply!
Are your patients funny people? Share their best comments, quips, insights and observations with us. Send them to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com
Frightful tantrums frequently exploded from a middle aged male patient when I was a student nurse on psychiatric rotation. With little or no provocation, the man’s ruddy complexion turned purple, his eyes shot fire, he’d shout obscenities, and then, finally stomp off. After one such incident, another patient asked, “What’s the matter with that guy, anyway?”
Fumbling for words, I responded, “Well, after all, that’s why he’s here.”
“Yeah,” he responded, “But even though a guy’s crazy, he can still be pleasant.”
Classic JNJ Humor from Arlene Evans, RN