Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Posts Tagged 'ER Nurse humor'

Nurse 4 Sale by Paul C. Millard, RN, Etc

USED ER NURSE FOR SALE!

Older model Male. High mileage, full size model. Paint is fading from black to gray and falling off the top. Headlights out of focus, engine sometimes skips at idle, recent suspension work (ball joints). Stock sound system works fine. Frame is bent from motorcycle collision. Frequent foul exhaust, occasional backfire through the intake, small fluid leaks. Needs  fuel additives twice daily for best operation. Used daily. Ideal for someone who wants reliability but not worried about bling or latest gadgets. Denim upholstery easily upgraded if desired. Best offer takes it and associated spare parts (crutches, walker, cane, assorted extra upholstery many embroidered with names of previous owners). Will take best offer. No dealers. Call Paul at 555-geezer-boomer.

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Top Ten Ways to Know You Are an ER Nurse

1. You believe “Shallow Gene Pool” should be a recognized diagnosis.

2. You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if someone utters aloud the “Q” word, “Wow, it’s really quiet.”

3. You have the bladder capacity of five people.

4. You have looked at a total stranger and said to yourself, “Great veins!”

5. It seems perfectly normal to discuss dismemberment over a gourmet meal.

6. You believe the size IV catheter you choose should be directly proportional to the amount of ETOH on board.

7. You’ve ever had someone say to you, “I have no idea how that got there.”

8. You have ever asked a patient with a sore throat, “And why did you not go to the clinic today?”

9. You believe bad things, especially cardiac patients and deaths, come in threes.

10. You believe in the power of the full moon.

Compiled by Debbie Davis, MS, RN

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