Posted by kbuxman on May 31, 2010
1. “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a billiard ball.”
“Well get to the back of the queue.”
2. “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.”
“Pull yourself together.”
3. “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a ten pound note.”
“Go Shopping, the change will do you good.”
4. “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.”
“Please wait a minute and I’ll deal with you.”
5. “Doctor, doctor, I’ve swallowed the film from my camera.”
“We’ll just have to wait and see what develops.”
6. “Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a clock.”
“OK, just relax. There’s no need to get yourself wound up.”
7. “Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a dustbin.”
“Now you’re just talking rubbish.”
8. “Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.”
“Sit down and tell me all about it.”
“I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.”
9. “Doctor, doctor, I’ve lost my memory.”
“When did this happen?”
“When did what happen?”
10. “Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing little black spots before my eyes.”
“Have you seen a Doctor before?”
“No, just little black spots.”
11. Doctor, doctor, I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
12. Doctor, doctor, I think I need glasses.
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
13. Doctor, doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there
14. Doctor, doctor I think I’m a bell?
Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!
15. Doctor, doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn’t I see you yesterday?
16. Doctor, doctor I’ve got wind! Can you give me something?
Yes – here’s a kite!
17. Doctor, doctor how do I stop my nose from running?!
Stick your foot out and trip it up!
18. Doctor, doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction!
19. Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a bee.
Buzz off can’t you see I’m busy?
20. Doctor, doctor these pills you gave me for BO…
What’s wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!
21. Doctor, doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don’t talk rubbish!
22. Doctor, doctor I feel like a sheep.
That’s baaaaaaaaaad!
23. Doctor, doctor I feel like a bee.
Well buzz off I’m busy!
24. Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a mosquito!
Go away, sucker!
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several of nurses were wearing a pin