One of our patients was really worried that they were diagnosed incorrectly. “Are you sure I have pneumonia? I saw on the news a guy was being treated for pneumonia, and it turns out he really had cancer! He wound up dying of it.”
“Don’t worry,” our doc said. “If I’m treating you for pneumonia, you’re going to die of pneumonia.”
Strangely, the patient didn’t appear to feel much better after that reassurance!
A man walks into the ER, dressed to the nines — he’s got a suit jacket, vest, tie, really elegant from his head to his toes. But his clothes are ripped, there are several cuts on his face, and I can see little bits of glass shining in his hair.
“Have an accident?” I asked him.
“No thanks,” he replied. “I’ve just had one.”
Contributed by Sandy R, RN, Virginia
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It’s late on a snowy evening here in farm country. We’ve gotten the head’s up that there’s been a pretty serious MVA, with a pickup truck colliding with a farmer and his wagon. We’re expecting a disaster, of course, but when the rig pulls in, the patient says he feels fine.
“That’s all he’s been saying since we got there,” said the State Trooper who accompanied the ambulance carrying the pickup truck driver – the guy who caused the accident my patient was involved in.
“Is that true, Mr. X?” I asked him. “You were in a terrible accident. Your wagon is destroyed, from what I understand. And you say you feel fine?”
He looked at me, and then he looked at the cop. “That fella there, he saw that my horse had a broken leg from the accident. So he shot him. And then he saw my dog was pretty torn up, so he shot him, too. When he gets over to me and asks, “How are you doing?” what do you think I’m going to say?”
A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.
“I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.”
“Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients.”