50 Ways To Clean Your Colon

With apologies to Paul Simon!

The problem is deep inside your bowels
The doctor said to me
The answer is easy if you
Just drink this Go-Lytely!
It’s time to stop the pain you’re feeling
Can you see?
There must be fifty ways
To clean your colon

Polyps, blockages, and more delights
The doc wants to view
Scopes are warmed up and waiting
For a close up on track two
But before we start
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To clean your colon
Fifty ways to clean your colon

[CHORUS:]

We’ve got to clean out the back, Jack
Do what you can, Stan
Be a big boy, Roy
And drink all the prep!
Don’t make a big fuss, Gus
It used to taste worse – much!
Just wait until you see, Lee
How clean your colon can be!