Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Jingle Bells — Nurse’s Style

Jingle BellsDashing down the hall, a stretcher’s in my way,
I just heard someone call, for a nurse in room 4-A,
The lab is on the phone, the charts are stacked galore,
I go into my patient’s room and he is on the floor OOOH

Jingle bells, jingle bells, much to my dismay,
I am stuck at work again 12 hours on Christmas Day!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas go away,
This is not my idea of a happy holiday!

A day or two ago, I thought I’d call in sick,
Just spend my Christmas Day at home,
Now wouldn’t that be a trick?
But as the time drew near, the guilt set in so fast,
I came to work and should have known
Nice guys finish last! OOOH

Jingle bells, jingle bells, O’, my aching back,
This could drive me crazy, give me heart attack,
Jingle bells, jingle bells, I don’t hear them ring,
Christmas is no fun this year, I wish that it were spring.

Another patient said, as I answered her light,
“Would you please check my bed? It doesn’t seem just right.”
I take a closer look, I don’t like this one bit,
She’s had a dose of Milk of Mag, her bed is full of !#?@ OOOH

Jingle bells, jingle bells, I don’t mean to bitch,
I would not be here today if I had married rich.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, blast the mistletoe!
This will be the death of me, an awful way to go.

“O, honey, you’re so sweet, to take such care of me,
These nurses can’t be beat, you’re all so good, you see.”
If what she says is true, before my song is sung,
One consolation that I have — the good, they say, die young! OOOH

Jingle bells, jingle bells — Santa, I’m so sad.
Guess I must have misbehaved, done something really bad.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa, do you hear?
What a punishment! I promise I’ll be good next year!

Contributed by Susan Elaine Arnold, RN, BSN, CCRN

Posted in: Columns

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