Nursing Limericks by PD Singer
A nursing home patient, demented,
Catheterized and stented,
Combative with staff,
Would not take a bath,
And was avocado-scented.
It was horrid – his urine was cloudy
With E coli? and other debris.
One lone C and S
Couldn’t sort out this mess
Of bacterial anomaly.
The ID response was chaotic,
Giving random antibiotic,
With learned conjectures
And Grand Rounds lectures
They made diagnoses exotic.
The nurse who changed out the Foley
Screamed, “For love of all that is holy –
You don’t need ciprofloxacin
To kill off the toxacin
That bag contains guacamole!”
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