10. If it’s wet, make it dry.
9. If it’s dry, make it wet.
8. Always ask for on-call pay before agreeing to overtime.
7. Never tell management what you are really thinking.
6. Never finish report with, “You have an easy assignment”.
5. Never say, “This looks like a easy assignment”.
4. Don’t expect anyone to do their job – especially when you really need them to.
3. Don’t expect doctors to believe anything you tell them.
2. If you don’t have enough time to do everything, take 30 minutes to complain about it and then make it all happen.
1. If it moves, rattles, shakes, falls down, or won’t stay in place: tape it.
Henry, my patient, was stricken with a troublesome malady. To alleviate the symptoms, he needed frequent, large doses of Kaopectate. His daughter and son-in-law were at his side in his time of need. They hovered protectively, hounding me with questions about Henry’s diet. They questioned the possibility of dehydration, suggested fluids, and wondered how soon I thought Henry’s problem would be controlled.
My patience was waning when they asked how late I would be working. I told them I would be due to leave in about fifteen minutes. Their expressions said it all. How could I leave Henry in this, his darkest hour?
I wanted to reassure them, so I innocently said, “Don’t worry. I always stay late when it’s necessary. I don’t like to leave until all the loose ends are tied up!”
Contributed by Margaret Weisenberger, RN
The nurse went in to check her patient in the ICU who was wearing nasal prongs. The nurse tried to talk to him, but all she could get out of him was gasping and unintelligible talk. Finally, the nurse thrust a note pad and pencil at the patient and said, “I can’t understand you, sir. Please write it down.”
The patient weakly scribbled on teh pad, “Get your dang foot off my oxygen tube!”
Classic JNJ humor by Jeanne Mueller, RN
Do you have a funny nursing story you’d like to share with the JNJ audience? Send it to us!
Nursing is as diverse as those who make it their career choice. However, there are certain basic traits inherent in all nurses. After a decade of fine tuning my nursing skills in a variety of clinical settings, I have noticed that nurses generally fall into one of four distinguishable personality types. (more…)