Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for June, 2011

Checking the Star Charts: Nurse Horoscopes

What will this week hold? Check the Star Charts! These predictions are carefully compiled by JNJ’s resident astrologer, Wazzata Comet, who watches the stars from a hospital rooftop somewhere near you. (Due to the fact that Wazzata once confused the landing lights on the Medi-Flight with a meteor shower, our lawyers ask that you please don’t confuse her predictions with actual, useful advice!)

Cancer

Cancer’s never been shy about stepping into the spotlight, but this week you may feel a little challenged when called on to entertain. Don’t hold back: this is your chance to shine. Not everyone can make vaguely obscene balloon animals out of exam gloves…and fewer people will! If you can’t be good, be memorable.

Leo

Leo is in need of balance. That means more than buying snacks from all four vending machines on the floor! Striving for a healthier lifestyle becomes easier if you focus on finding a way to make fitness fun. Try sprinting away from the charge nurse anytime she looks like she has something to ask you. You’ll burn more calories than you ever thought possible!

Virgo

You’re not a prude, Virgo, but you do have certain ideas about how things should be done…and when…and where. Let this serve as a reminder to you of the value of always knocking on doors before entering. And remember that even if you have helpful hints on how the patients engaged in ‘off-label’ activities could improve the experience, it’s probably prudent to keep them to yourself.

Libra

Before you send out an APB to find your patient’s missing dentures, make sure to check their mouth, their pocket, and their night table drawer. It might be a fruitless endeavor – or it could just be the second look needed to save you lots of needless aggravation.

Scorpio

It’s not nice to start speaking in tongues when work calls with a question just moments after you’ve fallen deeply asleep. Still, incoherence is probably preferable to what you really wanted to say. Good luck exercising your restraint and professionalism this week, Scorpio. You’re going to need it.

Sagittarius

Into every life some rain must fall…and into every shift it seems there must be a saline shower with your name on it. Sagittarius faces a damp and inconvenient week. Keep smiling as long as you can: it’ll frighten away the more annoying people.

Capricorn

Capricorn needs a little R&R. Be kind to yourself this week: you’ve been performing at top levels and now the stress is beginning to show. Find ways to entertain yourself, like giving the really irate visitor your ‘favorite’ resident’s name in place of your own or designing high fashion gowns out of Chux and tape.

Aquarius

There are questions in this world that have no answer, but curious Aquarius can not keep themselves from asking. “Exactly why did you think that would be a good idea?” can be an illuminating question for nurse and patient alike. Enjoy!

Pisces

Pisces puts aside their normal dreaminess to kick butt and take names this week. You’ve tried being patient and understanding, but enough is enough. It’s time to impose order and get things straightened out – and if you can id the person who keeps swiping your lunch, so much the better. Try keeping entrees in specimen bottles to cut down on sticky fingers – but remember not to eat your snacks in front of civilians!

Aries

As tempting as it may be, Aries, don’t attempt to stage your own version of Mythbusters while at work. Yes, it’s cool to see how unexpected things look when thrust into the MRI — but when the powers that be find out what you’re up to, the urban legend won’t be the only thing ‘busted’.

Taurus

9 times out of 10, Taurus, you’re safe to trust your instincts. That tenth time is a doozy, though. This week has you second guessing everything. Don’t be afraid to ask for input from others – and consider the wisdom you hear from a surprising source most carefully. They may be onto something. (Or it could just be the Ativan talking…)

Gemini

Ogling someone’s ‘lovely veins’ isn’t the usual way to strike up a friendship, but hey, if it works for you, go for it. Gemini is feeling super social, and the world’s returning the favor. You’re used to meeting people from all walks of life. This week, that flexibility will serve you well.

Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes

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Nursing Humor Resources

Karyn FebruaryLooking for inspiration, information on the use of humor in the clinical setting or just a good laugh? Check out these links:

5 Ways To Stay Upbeat in a Stressful Work Environment

Voice Lessons

GI Nursing: Does it Make Your Ears Wiggle?

Ha! 5 Ways Laughter Makes You Healthy

YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE WEEK!

Have a link to share? Leave it in the comments, or mail it to Cindy@journalofnursingjocularity.com and we’ll share it with everyone!

Posted in: Bubbly-ography

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The In ‘N Outpatient by Kris Harty

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?? You have to keep going. You can’t quit. You’re needed. You’re fantastic at what you do.”

“No, it’s too hard. I’m exhausted. There’s too much to do and never enough time. I’m fighting on every front and I have no more fight left. I’m tired of being responsible, tired of doing it all and doing it well. Really, there’s barely time even to do a lousy job at the required basics.”

My friend was struggling in her job and at home. I didn’t like what I was hearing, but I understood. I’d previously slid down a similar slimy slope.

There were no grab bars, no traction, no hay bales to cushion the landing along that slope. It was all downhill, like a runaway sled careening down an icy hilltop.

Has your sled slipped down that same slippery slope of overwhelmingness?

I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit to anyone, most especially myself. I’d wanted to quit workplaces in the past, I’ve wanted to quit my own business, I’ve wanted to quit as a patient, I’ve wanted to quit watching loved ones as patients.

I’ve wanted to quit. But it’s been seldom when I’ve followed through on that desire.

There’s much I have to learn, but this I know: the ‘how’ of how we keep going when we can’t keep going, might be found in a simpler answer than we realize.

The how lies in hope. Consciously or unconsciously, we hang on to hope. We hope for a better day, situation, outcome. We know it can be better than it is. We wait for the day when it is just that. We do what we can to bring it on, and if there’s nothing we can do, we patiently plow through the days until the sun glints through the clouds.

Along the way, we hold on to the hope of the heartfelt relationships of our lives, the intrinsic value and purpose our relationships and work bring us, and the unexpected humor that catches us off-guard.

There is funny in almost everything, including overworked, underappreciated, ‘get me the bleep out of here’ workdays. During some past jobs, I had been known to keep going merely by telling myself that the workplace, in all its messed up unglory, was there simply to entertain me. And not only that, but I was paid to be an interactive audience! I silently voiced a ‘bravo’ for true-to-form stellar performances from colleagues, administration and customers.

I could choose to be either annoyed or amused by their antics and interactions with me. When I chose to become detached and amused, the day was not as bleak as it had been. There was reason to chuckle and smile. From there, I could pass on the good humor, so to speak, to others and be re-energized by it myself. It might be an unorthodox coping mechanism, but sometimes unorthodox is what survival requires.

You can so do this, too. Bravo, you!

The Short Chick with the Walking Stick’s upcoming book celebrates professional caregivers as the StickSpirits they are. For four decades, they’ve helped Kris Harty Stick To It – No Matter What! She provides a patient’s perspective that is educational, inspirational, and insightful. Part memoir, part application, Kris helps student nurses, newer nurses and not-so-newer nurses remember why they joined their amazing profession in the first place. She shares how they positively impact patients’ lives, with minimal time and effort. Little things matter. Kris is the Thought Leader on People Helping People Persevere. She leads the conversation through writing, speaking, coaching, and small group discussions. A 40-year veteran of the medical industry – on the receiving end, Kris Harty is the Stickabilities Specialist at Strong Spirit Unlimited. If you’re looking for an effortless and meaningful way to lead your team toward continued quality caregiving, contact Kris. Call 877.711.STIC(K), email Infot@StrongSpiritUnlimited.com, or visit  www.StrongSpiritUnlimited.com.

Posted in: The In 'N Out Patient

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Checking the Star Charts: Nurse Horoscopes

What will this week hold? Check the Star Charts! These predictions are carefully compiled by JNJ’s resident astrologer, Wazzata Comet, who watches the stars from a hospital rooftop somewhere near you. (Due to the fact that Wazzata once confused the landing lights on the Medi-Flight with a meteor shower, our lawyers ask that you please don’t confuse her predictions with actual, useful advice!)

Gemini

Gemini’s dual nature means you feel conflicted most of the time, but this week, you’re in overdrive! Should you respond to the call light in bed 4 (sure to need her pillow fluffed again), the screaming from bed 6 who wants to see the doctor NOW (and demands you produce him from wherever you’ve been hiding him) or the DON who wants you to see what you can do about boosting those Press-Gainey scores? Decisiveness is essential: try prioritizing by volume…

Cancer

Housekeeping issues dominate Cancer’s week. Pay particular attention to the cleanliness of floors: puddles of undetermined origin and suspicious odor have the potential to completely disrupt your well-planned day. Always check the seat before you sit down this week: a surprise soggy bottom is going to do nothing to lift your spirits.

Leo

Not all who wander are lost, Leo, but if you persist in following your walkabout patient just to ‘see where they go’ the pair of you might wind up in an undiscovered country. Curiosity is only indicated to be fatal in felines, but you never know when it’ll jump species – exercise caution this week, especially on Thursday!

Virgo

Virgo loves to ask questions. What Virgo doesn’t always love to do is listen to the answers. This can make taking histories particularly challenging…focusing may not be fun, but it will make your life easier in the long term. By the end of the week, you’ll hear at least two things that surprise you.

Libra

Oh Libra, Libra, what are you up to? Planning and plotting aren’t your usual style: be careful before you get in way over your head. Try to swap off one annoying patient too many and find yourself in the middle of the latest Unit Drama. Be there to lend a hand because it’s the right thing to do, not because it’ll advance your secret agenda.

Scorpio

Happiness may be a warm puppy but no one likes finding dog hair in the blanket warmer. Remember to pay attention to the spirit and the letter of the law. Your own personal interpretation of rules and regulations may make medicine infinitely more entertaining, but you’ll wind up with a boatload of paperwork to do.

Sagittarius

Sleepless Sagittarius battles insomnia this week. What’s keeping you up at night? You might be replaying your shift over and over in your mind, but that’s no fun. Try pondering great philosophical questions instead. Need one to get started? If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he naked or homeless?

Capricorn

There’s a time, Capricorn, to be meek, humble, and retiring. That time is not this week. You’re rocking the whole Nurse thing: let your light shine! Hard work does pay off…it may have taken longer than you expected but this is the time you see the paycheck for all your effort. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to be Super Nurse when the CEO’s great-great-great grandmother comes in this week.

Aquarius

Aquarius has a passion for continuing education. Discovering the best medical response to this week’s Blue Plate Special in the cafeteria can lead you into new and fascinating areas of research…and if you can make Dr. Crankypants feel better after he ate a double portion? Life will be easier for WEEKS!

Pisces

It may be darkest before the dawn, but Code Browns can show up at any point in your shift. This can be when you discover that the scrubs you stow in your locker in case of emergency got used up the last time you had an emergency…plan ahead to avoid stinky awkwardness in all areas of your life this week.

Aries

Being a team player means passing the ball sometimes, Aries! You don’t have to do everything yourself, and the fact you’re trying to means something’s wrong…delegation may be difficult but screaming for help when you’re completely overwhelmed will seriously damage your uber-cool reputation.

Taurus

Dreamy Taurus’ attention is elsewhere this week. There are reasons you’re so distractable, but you need to be in the here and now…before you walk away with your colleague’s cup of coffee. Chances are they won’t appreciate the ‘mugging’! Don’t worry: everything you are fretting about will resolve by week’s end.

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