Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for July, 2010

Don’t Be So Sure of Your Diagnostic Skills!

Two interns were watching an elderly gentleman move slowly down the hall.

“I’ll be you $5 he’s had a hemorrhoidectomy.”

“No way. He’s suffering from arthritis.”

They both approached the man to inquire.

“Why are you moving so slowly, Sir?” asked one intern.

The old man replied, “My slippers are too large.”

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The Top Ten Things You Don’t Want to Hear in the Emergency Room

10. It’s first come first serve here

9. What side is the appendix on again?

8. Have a seat in the waiting area and try not to scratch it

7. Dr, Have you tried googling it?

6. Open up your mouth and say $50 copay

5. Can you come back tomorrow?

4. That’s probably contagious.

3. No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express

2. This is probably going to hurt a lot.

1. OOOOPS!

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The In ‘N Out Patient by Kris Harty

And now, for the concluding episode of Car vs Medical Parking Lots.

Last week, our story ended when a neon orange sticker appeared on the window of my rental car, while in the x-ray office’s parking lot.

My own car was in the shop. A few days prior, the hospital valet backed into my car while I was at a pre-op appointment.

Building security was patrolling the morning of my x-rays. Not seeing the handicap placard in full view on the dashboard (a result of the hangy part breaking off in cold weather), security issued an orange sticker warning for illegally parking in a handicap parking space.

And I was so proud of myself for remembering to move the placard from my car to the rental, just for this reason.

Not wanting to drive across town while fluorescing orange, I began peeling off the sticker. Gloved hands do not peel stickers well, and ungloved hands get mighty cold in zero degree temps. The sticker would stay, at least for now.

The rental car slip-slided across town to my house. I made it - until I reached my uber-slopey driveway. My only chance to make it up the icy slide was to gun it. The garage door needed to be open.

I reached for the garage door opener in its usual place on the visor. GONE.

I forgot to transfer it from my car to the rental. AUGGGGGG. (Your choice of words here.)

All I needed to do was enter my house from the front door and open the garage door from inside.

Piece o’cake.

I threw the car door open against the gale. Precariously, I trudged my way through snowdrifts to the front door. I attempted to turn the key.

The deadbolt was dead. The colder the temperature, the more stubborn it gets.

More expletives. There seems to be a pattern here.

Now what?

Aha! I could call my neighbor Tammy. She recently house-sat for me and learned the finer points of unlocking my stubborn deadbolt.

Could I really call her in this weather? Was there another option? Nope.

Being fabulous, Tammy immediately drove to my house, rescuing me from my snowy fate.

Turning the deadbolt took all the strength she had, which is fortunately much more than mine.

We’re in! Woo hoo!

After the rental was safely in my garage, my attention again turned to the glaring orange sticker on the window. Pfft.

This was a job for Gooey Gone.

Gooey Gone is effective. Gooey Gone is stinky. Good thing the stink could air out for 24 hours before the car needed to be returned. The rental company might not appreciate the sticker or the stench.

The great thing about snow in Colorado Springs is that it doesn’t last long, which is exactly the way snow should be.

Roads were clear the next day. Sticker stink was gone.

My own car was pristine again, my surgeon received my x-rays, and all was right with the world. Other than my newly developed fear of medical parking lots.

Stickability Specialist Kris Harty helps healthcare teams persevere through Compassion Fatigue. Kris is Chief Inspiration Officer of Strong Spirit Unlimited. By sharing Stickabilities, or tools, she learned from her own medically challenging life requiring a Walking Stick, Kris encourages healthcare professionals to Stick to it – no matter what! Diagnosed at age seven with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, she draws on 40 years of insight, research and stories as a healthcare recipient. She is the patient who now returns to say “You make a difference. Thank you.” Her message is content-rich, practical, engaging and inspiring – and sporadically funny. Kris reduces burnout, turnover, and Compassion Fatigue by re-engaging healthcare professionals, particularly nurses. Kris Harty is an inspirational keynote speaker, author and small group facilitator who helps people overcome challenges by creating unstoppable momentum in life and work. Clients say her message is life changing. Call 877.711.STICK, e-mail StrongSpirit@StrongSpiritUnlimited.com, or visit www.StrongSpiritUnlimited.com.

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Get a Life by Loretta LaRoche

There’s no more permanent or certain characteristic of a vigorous mind than an unquenchable curiosity. I’m thankful that my grandparents never quelled my need to explore and seek out answers for many, many things.

Children are born with incredible inquisitiveness—-touching, smelling, and staring for long periods of time as they try to figure things out. Who hasn’t had a child or been around one who continually asks “Why?” When it’s answered, another why replaces it. The adult inevitably becomes exhausted and finally exclaims, “Because I said so”…which only creates another why. Kids are like the Energizer Bunny in all its glory—they’re a miniature FedEx. Nothing stops them!

Along the way, the desire to know may be dampened by overbearing parents or a life that has taken its toll on your spirit, but curiosity can be recaptured or enhanced by doing a variety of things. It really is about engaging and exploring.

Try a few of my suggestions: Some ideas are simply being present wherever you are, and some require a bit of effort. You choose where you’d like to begin.

*Whenever you’re in a place where you have to wait, engage others in conversation. Find out where they’re from and what they do. I love talking to people because I find out a lot about how folks live, what types of things they do, and what part of the world they’re from.

* When you take a walk, notice what’s around you—the foliage, the animals, the houses. Don’t just look, examine deeply. I love to pick up a leaf and study its construction. Take nothing for granted.

*Be available to others’ inquisitiveness, whether it’s coming from your children, grandchildren, mate or co-worker. Don’t stifle someone’s curiosity because you’ve lost yours.

Albert Einstein said it best. “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity”.

Loretta LaRoche writes the Get a Life column for the Patriot Ledger.

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