Posted by kbuxman on April 5, 2010
Horoscopes just for Nurses!
Aries
Nervous about a new responsibility, Aries needs to take a deep breath and remember: this is not the first time you’ve been nervous, but you’ve made it every time thus far.
Taurus
You have to be able to care for yourself, Taurus, before you can care for others. Steal a moment to stop, breathe, center, and then it’s back to full speed ahead.
Gemini
You will be hounded for medical information by everyone you know and their best friend as a ‘bug’ sweeps through the town. If you can hold out until Wednesday before informing every one they have inflamed hypochondrial glands and a severe case of Iwantddayoffitis, we shall applaud your self restraint as a work of art.
Cancer
Relationships issues outside of work make the calm, peaceful surroundings of the ER at full throttle on the busiest night of the year seem a welcome respite. Hang in there; this too shall pass. Kind of like a kidney stone, but not as fun.
Leo
The patient who was ‘once a nurse!’ turns out to have answered phones in the animal hospital while volunteering in high school, many decades along. Learn to take your lack of surprise at this news as a mark of sophistication, and not an inarguable sign of burn out. It’s better that way.
Virgo
Minds are like parachutes, true, Virgo. They only work when they are open. But in one critical way minds are unlike parachutes, and you WILL get in trouble if you try to throw them out of an airplane. Especially if they’re not yours!
Libra
Does a hypochondriac want to have their ache and eat it too? Your week is full of tough questions, Libra, but relatively few terrible puns.
Scorpio
Not everyone is a complete idiot, Scorpio. Sometimes, parts are missing!
Sagittarius
Search the hospital directory for the psychiatric chiropractor, Sagittarius. That’s where you can send folks to have their attitudes adjusted!
Capricorn
No gift quandries for Capricorn: you already know what to give the man who has everything. Antibiotics!
Aquarius
Attempting to add more veggies to their diet, Aquarius remembers that chocolate is made from cocoa beans and is, hence, a vegetable. There will be much rejoicing, and salad will never be the same again.
Pisces
Never iron a four leaf clover, Pisces, but especially not this week! You don’t want to press your luck!
Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY!
