Archive for January, 2010

On Call: JNJ Talks to Steve Rizzo

Posted by kbuxman on January 25, 2010

Steve Rizzo has appeared as a national headline comedian with opening acts such as Drew Carey, Rosie O’Donnell and Dennis Miller, and has shared the marquee with comic greats including Ellen DeGeneres, Rodney Dangerfield, Eddie Murphy and Jerry Seinfeld. Steve Rizzo has also appeared on Comedy Central and in his very own Showtime special, earning him honors as a “Showtime Comedy All-Star.”

Then, at the pinnacle of his stand-up career, Steve Rizzo walked away from comedy to pursue his true purpose and passion – to teach people how to be happy and successful no matter what their circumstance. Steve Rizzo has been inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame and is often called upon as the “go-to” guy on the topic of personal development for many network, cable and other media outlets, including MSNBC and Oprah and Friends.

Steve Rizzo’s immensely popular PBS special revealed why he’s an expert on humor and the power of positive thinking. Steve Rizzo considers himself a PhB – “Professional Humor Being.” As a personal development expert, Steve Rizzo shows people how to choose a healthy attitude both professionally and personally. His audiences learn how to succeed and enjoy their lives in the midst of challenging and changing times. Termed “The Attitude Adjuster,” Steve Rizzo is extremely entertaining and has a powerful message.

Steve Rizzo spent much of his own life learning how to pursue and achieve his own definition of success. Luckily for audiences worldwide, that definition has evolved to showing others his blueprint for realizing their dreams and achieving personal excellence and professional satisfaction. (more…)

Posted in: Interviews

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Nurse Marge in Charge

Posted by kbuxman on January 25, 2010

Dear Nurse Marge,

I’m coming to nursing as a second career. My first career, if you could call it that, was working in a body art studio. I’ve got numerous tattoos, but most of them don’t show. There’s a string of orchids down my forearm that ends above my wrists that shows if I’m in short sleeves. They’re pretty and fairly tasteful if a bit on the large side. Will this keep me from getting a nursing job?

Signed, Inked in Illinois

Dear Inked,

Tattoos have become more and more mainstream. I recently watched a show about a cardiologist who had a large demon holding an anatomically correct heart in his clawed hands done on his back, and no one told that guy he was out of a job.

Yeah, I know. Like anyone could tell a surgeon anything, anyway!

I hate to tell you “It depends”, but It Depends. In some areas, having large tattoos may make you more employable, not less. Some hospitals may want you to cover your tattoos — although I’d shy away from the ever popular “Stick a bandage on it” method — wrapping up ink that large will leave you looking like you’ve had major surgery, not a random scrape!

Many nurses have tattoos, you know. You just don’t see them. There’s the very popular “Doctors who will NEVER touch me” list that many nurses have done on their chest, along with DNR orders and “Don’t Cut This Off!”.

There are some tattoos you probably should avoid getting. “Diverting in My Favorite Diversion” would be right out, in my opinion. Square needles? “Tourniquets for All Head Wounds!” These are images that just don’t inspire confidence in your nursing skills. Try to keep that in mind when going under the needle.

Good Luck!

Nurse Marge

Posted in: Jokes

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on January 25, 2010

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Aquarius

Your medical knowledge isn’t enough to cure the virus that’s crashed the computer system, Aquarius. Frustrations with technology help you bond with colleagues that normally infuriate you. This may be a sign of the apocalypse, but the system will likely be back on line before you know for sure. Proceed with caution.

Pisces

This would be a good week to announce your intention to withdraw from the world and ponder one of life’s great mysteries: why would one ever use a denture cup when there’s so many lovely discarded dirty napkins available?

Aries

Some weeks are simply awesome. Some weeks are to be watched out for. This week is a mix of both. Hold your head high and watch where you step. At the same time. That one puddle there looks rather slippery.

Taurus

There’s been an outbreak of Hospital/Hotel Confusion Syndrome running rampant among your patients this week. Surprisingly, a cure is discovered the very minute you look for a tip!

Gemini

The brightest star in the sky shines directly on you this week. Like an X-Ray from heaven. Where’s your lead vest?!

Cancer

Who needs to watch soap operas when you have visiting hours? This week presents you with drama, pathos, tension, reconciliation, a surprise baby — all you need know is a wedding to take place just outside the OR doors! The hubbub dies down midweek, but will likely pick up again in sweeps season.

Leo

Every day brings you one step closer to your dreams, and two steps closer to your fears. Learn hopscotch.

Virgo

Money will not solve all your problems this week so… no we’re kidding, it totally would.

Libra

This is a week of reflection for you, but don’t blame the mirror for what you see. Blame the vending machine — and perhaps the remnants of that birthday cake that was left at the nurse’s station.

Scorpio

Watch out for flying bedpans this week. Not thrown, mind you. Flying. Yeah. It’s like that We’re not sure who (or what!) you’ve irritated, but this week will be supernatural!

Sagittarius

If you work enough double shifts this week you may see your dreams come true. Then again you may be so tired you see all sorts of interesting things. Hallucination is fun.

Capricorn

Do not search for hidden meaning in the charts this week. You missed it. That was last week. Didn’t we… oh, we forgot. Sorry.

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Don’t rely upon Suzanne to help you make the right life decisions. Nope. She just gazes up into the sky, and this is what emerges. You’ll note the lack of responsible financial advice, relationship guidance, professional wisdom or anything else vaguely helpful.

Tags: nurse horoscopes

Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes

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The Recruiting Game

Posted by kbuxman on January 25, 2010

A skilled nurse died and arrived before St. Peter, who explained, “We have this little policy of allowing you to choose whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell.”

“How do I know which to choose?” she asked.

“That’s easy,” said St. Peter. “you have to spend a day in each place before making a decision.”

With that, he put the nurse on an elevator and sent her down to hell. The elevator doors opened and the nurse found herself in a sunny garden, where many former friends and colleagues warmly greeted her. She had a great time all day laughing and talking about old times. That night, she had an excellent supper in a fantastic restaurant. She even met the devil, who turned out to be a pretty nice guy. Before she knew it, her day in hell was over and she returned to heaven.

The day in heaven was okay. She lounged around on clouds, sang, and played the harp. At the end of the day, St. Peter came and asked for her decision. “Well, heaven was great and all,” the nurse said, “but I had a better time in hell. I know it sounds strange, but I choose hell.” With that, she got in the elevator and went back down.

When the doors opened, she saw a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. Her friends, dressed in rags, were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks. When the devil walked over, she said to him, “I don’t understand. Yesterday, this place was beautiful. We had a delicious meal and a wonderful time laughing and talking.”

The devil smiled and said, “Yesterday we were recruiting you. Today you’re staff.

Tags: funny nurse, nurse humor, nurse jokes

Posted in: Uncategorized

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Pinpoint Assessment

Posted by kbuxman on January 25, 2010

A wife became concerned about her overworked husband and took him to their physician for a checkup. The office nurse led them to the exam room and took the husband’s vital signs. She then took the wife aside and whispered, (more…)

Posted in: Uncategorized

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