Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Ihad that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumscision.”

The second kid responds, “Whoa! I had taht done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”

Tags: funny nurse, nurse humor, nurse jokes

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Turn the Other Cheek by Steve Rizzo

Posted by kbuxman on December 21, 2009

In every experience you face, there is always a moment when all problems start out as merely seed possibilities. It is your responsibility to make sure that they don’t blossom into emotional havoc. Every spiritually evolved person that I have read about alludes to a principle that states that there is always a peaceful part of us that we can turn to and react from when times are tough. Buddha, Confucius, Gandhi, Jesus, and many others have embraced this philosophy. Jesus said, “Turn the other cheek.”

What does it mean to “turn the other cheek?” Well, first of all it doesn’t mean that we should lie down and allow people who have offended us to continue to walk all over us. It doesn’t mean that we should give life’s circumstances permission to repeatedly take advantage of us. Whenever we find ourselves in turmoil over a situation or something someone has said or done, our turmoil is an indication that we have been in the wrong state of consciousness. When we react to whatever upsets us in the same state of mind we only compound the problem. “Turning the other cheek” is an opportunity for you to shift perspective and respond from the Higher part of yourself – the other side of you. (more…)

Tags: Facing conflict, Higher Being, preserving energy, Steve Rizzo

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Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Posted by kbuxman on December 21, 2009

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Sagittarius

Feeling down about working the holidays? Alligator farmers and sewer repair men are working too…which may make you feel better until you realize that they don’t have to do any charting at all!

Capricorn

Holiday parties with family and friends bring home one basic truth, Capricorn: If you talk about your typical workday, you can turn ‘em green as guacamole! How festive!

Aquarius

4 mini candy canes snatched from the nurse’s station does not a meal make, Aquarius. This week finds you busier than ever — but find time to take care of yourself!

Pisces

When you least expect it, a mysterious spill well help you spin, leap and fly just like you were dancing the lead role in The Nutcracker! Isn’t ballet wonderful? Tell your patients you do it every year!

Aries

Too many sugar plums leads directly to abdominal pain, unspecified, Aries! Moderation is key – even if it seems contraindicated now.

Taurus

Taurus’ famed stubborn nature will come in handy this holiday season, which is going to be memorable, picture-perfect, and totally harmonious, no matter what, right?

Gemini

All we’re going to say is How do you know, really, that the patient claiming to be Santa Claus isn’t?

Cancer

Who knew? Grandma really did get run over by a reindeer — and lucky you, your NM is her favorite grandchild! This week will offer up a chance to practice your diplomacy skills.

Leo

The bright lights and festive atmosphere bring out the performer in you, Leo. You’re singing carols and doing your best Rockette imitation. This would be great if you weren’t on the night shift!

Virgo

Never underestimate the power of simple kindness and basic humanity to completely derail your to-the-minute plans! This week will be an exercise in letting go of expectations and going with the flow.

Libra

Some people believe that once a year, on Christmas Eve, animals are given the power to speak. But you’re wishing for a greater miracle: patients who can fluff their own pillows, change their own TV stations and pour themselves a glass of water on this special night!

Scorpio

Stop kidding yourself, Scorpio: Your grouchy facade slips during the holidays…so give the BAH HUMBUG a rest — at least for a while!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. In fact, stop looking for guidance entirely! Sheer blinding intuition is enough to see you through the darkest days!

Tags: Horoscopes for Nurses, nurse horoscopes, Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

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