Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for December, 2009

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!


This week brings a rash of Christmas gift-induced injuries, Capricorn. You’ll find it hard to believe what people manage to do to themselves with a Snuggie!


Thou shalt not empty the bedpan into the annoying visitor’s conveniently open tote bag…no matter how much you want to!


Poor Pisces! On the go, go, go this holiday season, you’re considering booking an international flight for the luxury of being ‘forced’ to remain in a seat for an hour.


Eager Aries loves a party — and the fact you’re working New Year’s Eve isn’t going to stop you from having fun. Strategic re-purposing of medical supplies can create that festive air and all your patients will LOVE being woken up just in time to ring in the New Year!


Frustrations abound, but steady, stubborn Taurus remains eerily calm. If you can’t find something to freak out about, fake it…otherwise those diversion whispers are going to start!


It’s a full moon Thursday, Gemini. If you start now, you might be able to build a secure bunker in the supply room just in time to hide out from all the ‘excitement’.


Beware of administrators bearing gifts — there might be a lot of uncovered shifts you don’t know about…YET.


Perpetually perky colleagues are annoying — but when 80% of them call in, you find yourself longign for their smiling faces.


You love making resolutions Virgo, but remember to be realistic! Being the perfect nurse, the perfect parent and the perfect romantic partner is quite a goal. Try picking just one of those and going easy on yourself.


Going to work gives you a much needed respite from the hustle and bustle of home. Sad but true!


A co-worker’s efforts to spread holiday cheer initially provokes your scorn, but your tune changes when you join in the fun. Half the joy comes from the shocked look on your colleague’s face!


You missed out (barely!) on a Code Brown Christmas, but fret not: the year won’t end with you unsatisfied!

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are for Entertainment Purposes ONLY! Do not make major life decisions based on what Suzanne or any other astrologer tells you. Ask your Mother instead. She loves to tell you what to do!

Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes

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JNJ on Twitter

  • Here's a Top 10 List for holiday gifts for nurses. Whaddaya think? #
  • Annual tradition: watched Christmas Story (You'll shoot your eye out kid!) #
  • Before my colonoscopy, had to show my driver's license to prove my identity–guess there's been a rash of colonoscopy thefts! #
  • From You Might Be Burned Out If… Favorite hobby on resume is listed as sleep. Hey, I resemble that remark! #
  • Ck it out. Perks to working Christmas–whaddaya think? #
  • Tnx for the RT! @Blamping, @shawnta2231, @thisguy15 #

Posted in: Communication

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Nurse Marge in Charge

Dear Nurse Marge,

How do you handle visitors who won’t observe isolation precautions? I’m writing to you after going rounds with a determined man who SCREAMED at me that donning a mask to visit his friend (who happens to have TB!) was an insult, not only to him but to “The Lord God who protects his faithful!”


Perplexed in Philly

Dear Perplexed,

There are some people in this world who you want to keep from exposing themselves to potentially fatal diseases. Other people, well, if that’s what they really want to do…

You can offer the education, but you can’t make them learn. Maybe they’ll listen the next time they see you. Of course, then they might be the patient and not the visitor!

Good Luck!

Nurse Marge

Posted in: Jokes

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