Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for November, 2009

You Know It’s Going to Be a Long Shift When…

  1. You get the news that there are four emergency admits during report.
  2. Admits outnumber the total nursing staff on duty.
  3. The registry coordinator bursts out laughing when you call for more help.
  4. The emergency admits are lined up in the hall because housekeeping staff is squabbling over who is going to clean the beds.
  5. Dr. HighandMighty sweeps in expecting to have his hand held as he makes rounds. (This is because he wants to give 27 verbal orders which he expects you to remember and write for him.)
  6. None of the meds the pharmacy promised you would be ‘right up’ are there half an hour after they were due.
  7. X-ray can’t understand why you can’t just “Bring Mr. Jones and Miss Smith down” for their chest x-rays. (For one thing, all the wheel chairs are horded in x-ray.  For another, you are already supposed to give two insulin injections, do a pre-op med, and find some lost dentures.)
  8. The director of nursing comes up wearing a $600 silk suit and asks “How can I help?”  You are tempted to tell her to grab anyone off the street who can stand up unassisted and has an open airway to come transport patients for you.  Instead, you suggest she answer phones, knowing the kind of indelible stains one encounters daily in bedside nursing won’t exactly make the fashion statement she’s used to.
  9. The patient in 323 throws up all over the central line dressing you just changed, and it was the last dressing kit in the known universe.
  10. The CT scanner overheats and goes down.  This means you get to call Dr. Irascible, the neurosurgeon, and tell him that his patient’s scan will have to be delayed. You hold the receiver 6 inches from your ear to avoid being deafened by his tirade.

This Classic JNJ article is by Carol Edson, RN. Part Two will run next week.  In the meantime, what are your tried and true signs that it’s going to be a long shift? Spill the beans!

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Bedside Manners: Being Thankful for What You Don’t Have Patricia L Raymond, MD, FACP, FACG

You’ve done it already… you shoveled out all that thankfulness and gratitude stuff in late November. Our federally mandated annual reflection on all with which we have been blessed.

Now I’d like you to open your eyes and be grateful for what you don’t have in your hospital:

In a hospital in California, the chief of neurosurgery was wrestled to an operating room floor by police deputies after throwing a fit when a nurse refused to let him operate.

The surgeon became belligerent after insisting on operating on a man who fractured his spine in a two-story fall. Two other surgeons had determined the injuries were not life-threatening, but the neurosurgeon insisted the man would die if he did not receive immediate surgery. (more…)

Posted in: Columns

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Get a Life by Loretta LaRoche

My mother was always a huge fan of Larry King. Whenever I went to visit, we would have to sit and watch Larry. I actually found myself enjoying the interviews he had with a variety of individuals and found I often came away with some interesting information.

Mr. King is no longer a part of my mothers’ daily existence since her cognitive abilities have declined, but I took on her viewing habits and enjoyed his repartee almost as much as she did. Most recently my interest has declined as a result of his need to periodically have panels of guests rather than one. The result has often been a cacophony of voices vying for attention with no concern as to whether the viewer can understand one thing being said.

Unfortunately this seems to be the norm. There are now a plethora of shows with this type of verbal sparring with the host being the umpire. I would love to know and understand when we transitioned to this place of rudeness and arrogance.

The hosts seem as if they were coached to look and sound testy. Their faces and attitudes resemble teenagers who are in the midst of a snit with a parent. Whenever they are in conversation with a guest they often undermine or sand bag them so that they appear stupid and inept. Sentences are never finished nor points ever clarified since the goal is for the host to have the last word.

A lot of shows don’t even contain content that has any meaning, and they often have participants who are merely looking to be discovered for their bizarre behavior. After all weird can lead to having your own reality show, book deal and line of clothing!

Perhaps I’m reaching a point in my life where I am starting to sound like my mother and grandmother. Not a day went by without some comments being made about manners, humility and developing communication skills that allowed you to listen first, then respond. T.V. moguls seem to have lost sight of these values in lieu of getting high Nielsen ratings.

One can still be civil and stand their ground. Debating teams do it all the time, as well as some of the news reporters that I admire. I have watched Connie Chung, Chet Huntley, Walter Cronkite, David Brinkley and my favorite, Christine Amanpour parry with all manner of individuals with grace, intelligence and manners.

You may think there’s nothing we can do. Well, there is! Change the channel.

Loretta LaRoche writes the Get A Life Column for the Patriot Ledger.

Posted in: Get A Life

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