Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for Nurses!

Libra

Lucky Libra has a fantastic week lined up. The stars are shining in your favor! Be open to new, exciting opportunities — but pass on that once-in-a-lifetime chance your patient offers you to get in on the ground floor of a promising investment opportunity.

Scorpio

Having the swine flu shot may be followed by miscarriage, death, or stroke — and guess who gets the lucky job of explaining to the patients that yes, they still need the shot, and no, all these after effects aren’t necessarily connected to it? It won’t be you if you’re smart about it, Scorpio — we suggest a conveniently timed code far, far away from that conversation.

Sagittarius

Conflict with co-workers makes this a challenging week. Maintaining professionalism is hard; resisting temptation when you google the worst offenders and find out what they’re doing when they’re not at work is even harder. Be careful what you research; you may find out more than you want to know.

Capricorn

Order and organization are your watchwords this week, Capricorn. Either you’re going to impose some on your life or someone’s going to impose some for you. The results are surprisingly refreshing; a change of this sort has been needed for a while.

Aquarius

Love is a many splendored thing, Aquarius — and stepping into that semi-private room at the wrong moment will reveal splendors you never needed to think about. We recommend knocking at all costs!

Pisces

Animals abound in your chart: we’re not sure if that means you’ll be treating animal bites and entertaining companion dogs in the waiting room or a trip to the zoo is in your immediate future…oh, wait. You’re a nurse! Every day is like a trip to the zoo!

Aries

Low tech is the new rage in body building, Aries — you could cash in on the trend by having the PT/OT crew have their patients carry your bag to the car at the end of the shift. What does that thing weigh? 800 pounds? It might be time to lighten up!

Taurus

Patience is a virtue, and apparently there are no virtuous people in the waiting room. This week, that could prove problematic — but if you choose to embrace the positive side of the situation, think of all the money you’ll save by not having to buy tickets to Cirque du Soliel — or Roller Derby — or the taping of the next Jerry Springer movie. You have it all, delivered to your workplace. (Ok, the costuming is a little lacking…)

Gemini

You provide some much needed guidance and relief in an unexpected manner this week. Don’t be so hard on yourself: you have a ton of wisdom and this week, someone is ready to hear it.

Cancer

Job seekers have a stressful week ahead; those nurses already employed are likely to experience a great deal of anxiety. Fret not: it’s not you, it’s them — and if you can hang in there, the situation will look brighter by the end of the week.

Leo

Connections and networking are your strong suit this week, Leo. Only YOU know the magic dialing sequence to make the pharmacy pick up the phone. Only YOU can get the doctor to respond to the page. Only YOU can persuade Mrs. Jones in bed six that she’ll develop inoperable carpal tunnel if she doesn’t leave hold of that call light. Enjoy these mad communication skills: by week’s end, you’ll be all talked out!

Virgo

Delight in small blessings this week, Virgo. A spare two minutes to run to the bathroom? Someone else got called in before you? A patient who says “Thank you” All of these glories might be yours — are you ready to appreciate them?

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne are intended for entertainment purposes only!