Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Taurus

If you’re a psychiatric nurse, Taurus, absolutely nothing this week will surprise you.

Gemini

Every rule needs an exception. This can be a problem for surprisingly legalistic Gemini, who wants every contingency accounted for. Easier said than done — who know the patient would confuse Super Glue and eye drops?

Cancer

“When in doubt, cut it out!” may indeed be the surgeon’s motto, but a wise nurse knows better than to share that with their patients. Prudence and caution are necessary this week, particularly on the 28th.

Leo

Once in every lifetime, Leo, will come a moment of stunning, perfect clarity, when you know that you’re fulfilling your purpose, reaching your destiny, and being the best you can be. That moment will not arrive this week.

Virgo

Never underestimate bureaucracy! Virgo finds herself pitted against mountains of paperwork and red tape this week. We recommend a flame thrower PRN…but we don’t work with you

Libra

Your stars are full of references to writing and record keeping this week, Libra. Either you’re going to have charting issues out the wazoo or you’re finally going to finish writing that shocking tell all expose novel!

Scorpio

Gastrointestinal distress is symptomatic of many things, Scorpio — but your sinking stomach is likely related to having too many tasks undone. Tuesday and Wednesday are great for playing catch up!

Sagittarius

Great news will delight you this week — especially when you’re expecting the worst! Sometimes the red sticky mass on the patient’s abdomen is just the Jell-O they’re ‘saving for later’! One can always hope…although we don’t recommend taste-testing to make sure.

Capricorn

Are you in over your head? Feeling overwhelmed? This will pass, Capricorn — particularly if you turn to a trusted colleague for help. If that doesn’t work, try hiding behind the crash cart.

Aquarius

Just because you can easily eat popcorn out of a clean bedpan doesn’t mean everyone can, Aquarius! Slow down and think things through this week. On the positive side, you’ll never be asked to bring snacks for the unit again!

Pisces

When your shift begins to resemble an episode of Scrubs — and there’s not a camera crew in sight! — you’ll know you’ve reached the week’s high point. Savor the moment, Pisces!

Aries

Compassion is both a gift and a burden. This week promises you the opportunity to experience both ends of the spectrum. Strangely, your stars are also filled with romance and passion: good on you, Aries — love surrounds you this week!