Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for April, 2009

Nurse Marge In Charge

Dear Nurse Marge

So lately, I haven’t been feeling so great, so I finally did what most nurses hate to do: I went and saw the doctor. In the 2.2 minutes I spent with him, he determined that I’m fine, I just have too much stress. His recommendation is that I get more exercise. What’s the best way for a nurse to exercise?

Signed,

Wondering about Workouts

Dear Wondering

Personally, I’ve found that kickboxing and most martial arts to be great exercise — ask your doctor about the health benefits you’ll be enjoying while you’re knocking him over his clueless head! More exercise? You mean running to codes, jumping to answer every call light, and carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders isn’t enough exercise?

If that’s the case, you could consider expanding your exercise regime to include:

Running, rather than walking, to hide in the bathroom when a ‘frequent flier’ comes to the unit.

Climbing the walls (most common after the computer system is ‘upgraded’ — but this healthy activity is available anytime!)

Shifting responsibility onto other employees for your workload. (A popular exercise, this serves as some people’s sole physical activity!)

Of course, you’ll want to find the exercise routine that’s best for you. It might even be worth consulting with your doctor!

Good Luck

Nurse Marge

Posted in: Enjoying Humor, Jokes

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BP Mystery Explained!

708579_blood_pressure_1A man goes into the doctor for his annual physical. The nurse is taking his basic information.

“How much do you weigh?” she asked.

“One fifty, same as when I was in college!” he replied proudly.

“Why don’t you just step on the scale, and we’ll check,” she said. Turns out, he was one hundred and eighty seven pounds.

Then she asked how tall he was.

“Six foot one.”

Upon measuring, however, it turns out that he was closer to five foot nine.

It was time for the blood pressure check, which came in at 190/110.

“That’s a little high,” she told him.

“Well, what do you expect? When I came in, I was tall and lanky! Now I’m short and fat!”

Posted in: Uncategorized

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A Swine Time for One And All

sneezy-pig-jpg-sneezyBy now, you’ve heard the news. A nationwide public health emergency has been issued by the Department of Health and Human Services due to the recent outbreak of Swine Flu. The first cases were reported in Mexico City, but the virus is spreading quickly. Symptoms of Swine Flu include high fever, aches, and an uncontrollable desire to roll in the mud.

Here at JNJ, we know that early identification and recognition of Swine Flu symptoms are the best way to prevent an epidemic. How do you know if your facility is about to be the next ‘hot spot’? Look for these five ‘red flags’: (more…)

Posted in: PRN: Funny Stories, Uncategorized

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