Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Journal of Nursing Jocularity

Archive for March, 2009

Star Charts by Suzanne LaBarne

Horoscopes just for nurses!

Aries

Communications will be tricky this week, Aries. We recommend clarifying orders by asking “What’s up, Doc?” in your best Bugs Bunny voice as often as possible. Not everyone will appreciate your sense of humor — but on the 4th, your sunny disposition will be your strongest asset!

Taurus

Dark Chocolate, PRN, might sound like a great prescription — but be careful! Overindulgence can be costly. Be open to new ideas, such as caramels or peppermint twists, to break up the monotony.
The 4th will have you thinking about a change in your future — but it might just be gastric distress.

Gemini

You know you’re a good nurse, Gemini, and most of your patients know you’re a good nurse. This week, though, you’ve got to show the powers that be that you’re a good nurse: be careful not to over-commit or promise too much in order to impress.

Cancer

You have to be able to separate fact from fiction, Cancer — and we know that’s tricky when you’re floating on the psych floor! Double check and use common sense whenever possible, and hold on until the 4th, where the situation will take a turn for the better.

Leo

It starts small, Leo. You answer the call light to fluff a pillow…and before you know it, your patient can reach her blanket, her glass of water, her Kleenex. She can sure reach that call light, though, can’t she? By the 3rd, you’ll be ready to discharge her yourself…it might be time to set some boundaries.

Virgo

Sure, Virgo, you can cover an extra shift. And staying late? No problem. And coming in early tomorrow? Great! Just don’t be surprised to find yourself overwhelmed. You’ll be rethinking your ability to do everything by the 1st. Hold on! Help arrives on the 4th.

Libra

The patient’s screaming that they’ve got pain at 20/10 — despite the fact that you had to wake them up to ask them about it. You’d love to tell them where to go, Libra…but since you’ve got this eager new resident who is sure he’s got the situation under control, why don’t you step back and let him have the fun?

Scorpio

If you can be a little patient, Scorpio, this might be one of the best weeks you’ve had in a while. You’ve got someone near and dear to you requiring a little extra love and compassion — give it! That warm & fuzzy stuff pays great dividends, as you’ll see on the 4th.

Sagittarius

With friends like you, Sagittarius, who needs enemas? Sorry to joke, especially in a week where you’re feeling a little blocked, but we know you’ve got the moral fiber to see through the rough-age to sunnier days ahead.

Capricorn

It’s not that your patients are overly needy this week, it’s that they all have a congenital thumb defect that causes them to press the call button over and over and over again. The stress at work will be offset by interesting developments on the romance front!

Aquarius

Medicine would be great if it weren’t for all the people involved! Aquarius is looking for a little personal space this week…good luck finding it. The staff bathroom’s no good. Have you considered hiding UNDER the nursing station? This will all pass into memory by the 4th.

Pisces

You can’t do it alone, Pisces. Get help, especially when you’re trying to shift a patient who outweighs you by 200 pounds. There’s no shame in calling on your colleagues and peers — and remarkably less back pain!

Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes, Uncategorized

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Slight Miscalculation

As a nursing student who had barely passed bedbaths, I was on my second clinical rotation and had not yet mastered the concept that a unit was different from a cc. In the frenzied state that only a nursing student can know, I searched and searched for a syringe large enough for the 5,000 unit subcutaneious Heparin that I was scheduled to give. I went to a fellow student with a 60 cc Toomey syringe, the largest I could find, still perplexed about how to give the medication.

Eight years later, she’s still laughing and wondering how I ever made it through nursing school.

By Kathie DeMatteis, RN, BSN

Posted in: Enjoying Humor, School Days, Uncategorized

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Wonder How They’ll Bill for That…

A patient came into post-op recovery after an appendectomy. Everything looked fine, but he kept complaining about a terrible headache and tenderness on the side of his head.

There was no reason he should be having this much pain; especially in his head. The doctor was called, just to check that this wasn’t some odd shock reaction.

“Don’t worry about it!” The doctor replied. “I’m not surprised he has a headache. We ran out of anesthesia halfway through the procedure.”

Posted in: Enjoying Humor, Jokes

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