Posted by kbuxman on February 23, 2009
Nurses love charts, right? After all, you spend so much time with them! Here at JNJ, we thought that since charts are so popular, we’d add one more: Star Charts — horoscopes, designed specifically for nurses!
Aries
Remember Mrs. Grouchalot, who knew you couldn’t do anything right? Remember how glad you were to see her go home? This week brings her — and any other lingering, unresolved problems! — right back to your floor. Avoid both unrealistically high hopes — Mrs. G didn’t have a personality transplant while she was away — and deep despair. New influences appear on the 24th which may shed entirely new light on the situation.
Taurus
Not normally a social butterfly, shy Taurus comes out of her shell this week. Don’t be surprised to find yourself caught up in the chatter at the nurses station or making fun plans for the end of the shift — just don’t let the charting slip off your radar! Keep an eye on spending, particularly during the 24th. Skip the vending machine and save your money!
Gemini
There’s no I in TEAM, Gemini! The stars might be shining, but that doesn’t mean it’s your turn to step into the spotlight. Focus on teamwork and cooperation instead: share the glory (and workload!) while sidestepping any blame — particularly on the 27th. Let someone else volunteer to head the JCAHO committee. You’ll be glad you did!
Cancer
The beginning of the week is going to be particularly rough — for you and those around you. (Might not want to tell your patients that!) Be proactive and fight off the bad mood. You influence more people than you know. One smile can transform multiple days! Surprising influences crop up on the 28th, perhaps from a visitor or patient’s family member.
Leo
You’ve got it going on! Nothing is going to phase the Leo nurse this week. Projectile vomiting? No big deal Three codes in thirty seconds? You can handle it — you’re SuperNurse!
Roll with the punches — but keep an eye on the money situation. Check your paystubs, bank balances and bills carefully — or you’ll finally find something that makes YOU turn green.
Virgo
It’s hard knowing everything, isn’t it? Your attention to procedure and protocol is admirable, but be too anal-retentive at your own risk. The nurses you work with are human too — and you’ll want and need their human understanding on the 28th. Don’t lock yourself in the isolation ward of perfectionism!
There’s love in the air for Virgo on the 24th — be ready!
Libra
Thinking of abandoning the hustle and bustle of the ER for the relative calm of psychiatric nursing? Looking for greener pastures in geriatrics? This is a positive time for change, Libra — if you want to make a move in your personal or professional life, the 24th is a great time to start!
Scorpio
Better have those batteries charged, Scorpio! This week is going to take a lot out of you. From high maintenance patients who hit the call button every 2.2 seconds through a small mountain of paperwork with your name on it, it’s all for you. But there’s some light at the end fo the tunnel: The 1st holds a special surprise.
Sagittarius
Ever compassionate, Sagittarius will find their more tender side coming front and center this week. Take advantage of this added empathy to focus on communication: even the most disagreeable, treatment-resistant patients will be more likely to listen to you now. It’s a great time for romance, too, although you’ll want to think about that after work hours.
Capricorn
They tell you to trust your gut — and here you are with IBS! Don’t let doubt get in your way, particularly when it comes to making difficult decisions. You’ve got wisdom, insight, and intuition: use this week to practice trusting your judgement. This is particularly true on the 28th, when you may be needed to make a difficult call.
Aquarius
Money concerns loom large this week, but that’s no problem for a creative nurse, right Aquarius? One simple kidney fetches big bucks on the black market, and a lot of patients still have two…of course, if you want to stay on the right side of the law (which we strongly recommend!) you can try keeping the spending under control instead.
Pisces
Slow and steady wins the race, Pisces! You’ve won the nursing lottery: a week that promises to be slow, steady, and routine, routine, routine. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful change of pace? Make sure you don’t get bored. The calme continues until the 28th, which will deliver change in a big way!
Tags: aquarius, aries, cancer, capricorn, gemini, horoscopes, leo, libra, nurse horoscopes, pisces, saggitarius, scorpio, star charts, suzanne labarne, taurus, virgo
Posted in: Games, Horoscopes, and Quizzes, Uncategorized
As part of the admissions procedure in the hospital where I once worked, I asked patients if they were allergic to anything. If they were, I would print it on an allergy band placed on the patient’s wrist.